Playground • Joshua ✓

Playground || 29

[ - sophia kim - ]

After his death, I began to face even more health complications and was obligated to stay at the hospital. Yes, the same one as before.

I don't really care anymore. I'm just counting down on when the hell can I just die. I mean, what's the purpose of life right ?? My source of happiness was taken away just like that out of nowhere.

I mean, I should've seen this coming don't I ?

"Hey, don't you wanna go out for a bit ?" asked Hansol

"What's the point ? I'm gonna be such a burden." I replied

"You're not. I can get the wheelchair if you want to. Where do you wanna go ?" he asked

"I don't wanna leave this room Hansol" I replied

"Sooyoung, I know you're sad about it, but if you're being like this for MONTHS wouldn't it sadden him more ?" said Hansol

"All you've been doing is watching the videos of him repetitively ! I understand you're upset. All of us are, but you have to move on with your life in order to get better" he added

"Just because you'd be happy later, doesn't mean you're forgetting him !" said Hansol

He was pretty much trying to convince me but honestly I can't pay much attention. I'm spacing out too much that even my hearing ability is somehow gone out of nowhere

"Sooyoung listen to me !" he hit me softly which caught my attention again

"What ?" I responded

"I know it's hard for you to cope through it. But what you're doing is affecting us and most importantly YOURSELF ! Please remember that you're the one who always say to move on with life no matter how bitter it is as it is the cycle of life. Are you going to be a hypocrite now ?" he raised his eyebrow

"You being all sad and gloomy is not going to make Shua hyung happy... You're making all of us sad too... We're worried of you Sooyoung, so please... I beg of you..." he pleaded

Seeing him this way hurts me the most. I should've noticed that I've been hurting the people around me but I've been too selfish aren't I... Goodness gracious...