being married

xxiii.

t w e n t y t h r e e.

"Are you fucking crazy? You can't go back in that room! He's just going to hit you again when you feel like everything's alright," Riley exclaimed as she tried to hold me back from going to apologize to Chris. She couldn't hold me back now, I already have my mind set on his forgiveness. I pushed Riley out of the way, not too hard to damage her but enough to get my determination across. "I hope you know what you're doing because I don't want you to be surprised when you don't see me around to help pick up the pieces."

I was already at the middle of the stairs when she said that last statement. I turned around to her, her fists clenched and her nostrils flared. Why was she angry? "Some friend you are, right? Where were you and everyone else when I tried to call, huh? No one ever called me back. No one ever tried to make conversation with me. Where were you, Riley, when I needed you most?" This question has been racking my brain since after the honeymoon. And now I got the chance to find out the answer.

She opened her mouth, "Mya, I-" I turned around to see Chris standing there waiting on me. I looked back down at Riley who was contemplating whether she should continue or not. "Mya," he called. Giving one last look to Riley, I continued making my way upstairs, following behind Chris.

He walked into the room with me trailing behind. He sat down in the bed, it had brand new sheets covering it. He looked at me with that emotionless face like he always did. "I'm sorry," I began. Although he didn't show it, I knew he was shocked. I went over to my side of the bed and got on it, sitting on my knees. "For?" He asked. I could hear the amusement lacing his voice. He was intrigued by my apology, I knew it. "I'm sorry for cheating on you. I didn't know what was going on. Everything just happened so fast. I-"

"No, don't make any excuses." He interrupted me.

"Right, I'm sorry. It was completely my fault for doing what took place." A smirk appeared on his face. I was confused. Why was he smiling? "What?" He patted the bed next to him signaling that I should lay with him and I immediately understood. I started to remove my shirt but he stopped me. "Just come here." He never was a fan of me doing that so what sparks this interest now? I slowly crawled over to him and placed my head on his chest then he wrapped his arm around me and caressing my arm with his thumb. I leaned in slowly, kissing his chin before nuzzling myself into him.

What am I doing?

The images of him doing all that he did to me kept reappearing.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this." I got off the bed and went on the balcony to get some air. I couldn't do it. This was all too foreign for me and I can't handle it. I looked back and Chris smirking slightly at his phone. I looked down off the balcony, "why couldn't we have a pool right here?" Everyone else in the neighborhood had pools, the penthouse had an infinity pool. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair before breaking into fit of coughs. I looked down at my hand that was covering my mouth only to see it had little droplets of a crimson liquid on it. 'Oh, please tell me I'm dying. I don't think I can handle being here any longer.' But I still have Colton to look after. I definitely can't see myself leaving him here with Chris. I wiped my hand on my shirt and went back inside to see Chris sleeping away.

I walked into the nursery. I picked up Colton in my arms, placing some kisses on his smooth skin then put him back. He was sleeping anyway, he grew out of the crying whenever he noticed I wasn't by his side anymore when he woke up.

I made my way downstairs and to the guest room. I knocked on the door lightly, careful not to wake up Chris or Jen. Riley opened the door and frowned when she saw me. Sighing, I began another apology, "I'm sorry for being such an ignorant bitch. I didn't mean to act like that. The guilt just hurt me a lot and I wanted to get it out which caused me to lash out on you so I'm sorry and I hope you forgive me."

"The only way I'll forgive you is if you tell the police that Chris has been hitting you." I wasn't too sure about this. Who says something won't come up? Who says he wouldn't try something like bribe someone? But who says I'll ever have another chance like this? I contemplated for a while before nodding and going into her room.