being married

xl.

f o r t y

I turned around and wrapped my arms around Chris. I smashed my face in his chest, trying to muffle my cries. "Why does shit keep happening to me?"

"It's okay, baby. It's gonna get better. It's just another bump in the road." Chris tried to console me but it wasn't working. I started crying harder until he pulled me closer into his embrace. "No Chris. He hurt me..." I hoarsely cried, "he raped me." He only hugged me tighter but I knew he wanted to kill Colin, again.

"Come on. Let's go take a shower."

I started to walk with him to the bathroom when I stumbled a bit because of Colin's limp arm. I looked away from everything before I asked Chris, "W-what are we going to do about this?" I tried biting my lip to stifle my whimpers.

"I'll call the police," he mumbled.

"But what if they don't believe you? I don't even trust them anymore, they took you away from me for too long and now look what happened." I let go of him immediately regretting it because of the lack of safety and assurance that had disappeared. I carefully walked over to Colton who was crying away. I felt so weary that it seemed strange to pick up my own child to console him. I rocked him lightly and told Chris to get Max out the bathroom. At first, he was mumbling, "Who the hell is Max?" But when he opened the bathroom door and the puppy came out barking at Colin's body, he understood.

"It doesn't matter if they don't believe me, my job is to protect you and so far I've been doing a shitty job at doing that." Chris pulled out his phone and called the police.

They came soon after, two police cars, one ambulance and to take away the bodies, a black van. Hearing myself tell the officers what had happened to me was awful, it was sickening. I was on the verge of vomiting when Chris took Colton away from me. I ran pass the person's taking pictures of bodies, then to the bathroom to empty the contents in my stomach.

As I brushed my teeth, I overheard that I have to go and get some kind of rape kit at the hospital. That's the last place I want to be right now. Why do I need it anyway? I'm already content with the fact that the man who did this to me was killed and brings even more satisfaction that he was killed by my hand. So I didn't need this and I'm not going to do this.

After the officers left with the bodies, I left the bedroom while Chris packed up our stuff. If I stayed here I'll get sick. I tried cleaning up the mess in the kitchen that was supposed to be a lovely welcome home dinner with the family. Tears rimmed my eyes but I quickly wiped them away only to break down and cry louder.

I calmed down then went upstairs to pack Colton's things but Chris beat me to it. He already packed most if not all of our things and took some of them to whatever car he chose. I just got Colton from his crib and took him downstairs into the garage.

The driver, Charlie, was taking our luggage to the penthouse while Chris drove us there. After Chris got the last of our stuff, he grabbed Max before locking up the house.

I strapped Colton into his car seat and sat next to him with Max on my lap. The ride to our temporary home was quiet. Not even Max was barking, he just cuddled himself into me while Colton slept.

When we got there, I put Colton down in a crib we had here if ever we came. Then I went to the bathroom to take a shower.

I peeled the dress from my body and slid into the already filled bath tub. Chris was there stooping down as if he was waiting patiently on me to enter the room. "I love you Mya. I hope you know that." His words were genuine, at least that's what I would like believe. But either way, a little piece of me got mended back together because my family was back to where it was or should've been. I nodded and forced a smile onto my face. Of course, everything wasn't as how it's supposed to be but for the most of it, I was okay I guess.

...

To be honest, I don't know what I'm saying. I probably have this thought in my head that this should've been a sappy, cliché ending where we live happily ever after but the story isn't finished just yet. I could feel it. I don't know if it's going to screw with my life anymore or if it's gonna get better but it's gonna happen.

I can feel it in the pit of my stomach.