You're Not My Babysitter

Chapter 1

Ashton

Beep. Beep. Beep. My eyes weren't open yet but, I was brought into consciousness with probably the singular most annoying sound I have ever fucking heard.

"Can someone turn that shit off?" I groaned squinting as I tried to adjust my eyes to the brightness of the room.

"Well, that quote on quote shit is kinda telling us you're heart is beating," my brother Adrian said from beside me, "So, I'm afraid not."

He gave me a tight-lipped smile as his leg bounced up and down.

I took in my surroundings and noticed the white walls and tiles. I looked down to find myself in a polka-dot gown that was mostly covered by the white, paper-like sheets. Everything was white. I've always hated the color white. I mean it's probably the most difficult color in existence. You spill a drink it's ruined plus, it just washes everything out. Whatever.

"Ah shit," I sighed taking in the wires i'm connected to, "shoulda thought that one through huh?"

That poor attempt to lighten the mood earned nothing but a dry chuckle from brother dearest.

"Yes Ashton, you should've thought it fucking through," Adrian finally sat up and looked me in the eyes.

He had the prettiest green eyes, and given the idea that we were siblings, mine were the same color. Adrian was only 3 years older but he was kind of my parental figure since we live alone.

"What you did was seriously fucking stupid." fatigue and frustration were etched in the frown line on his forehead.

"I know I know and I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to take that many," I explained tucking my messy hair behind my ear.

That statement wasn't a complete lie. I mean- I wasn't completely oblivious to the fact that taking too many sleeping pills could kill me however, this wasn't the end goal. Or maybe it was, I don't even know anymore.

"I just wanted a minute where my brain was empty!" Adrian's expression softened and he pulled me in for a hug.

"I know, I'm sorry" He lulled

"I don't know what's going on," Great now I'm sobbing. I've only been awake for what, 20 minutes, and I'm already losing control, "you know, I used to be able to take shit?"

I let out a chuckle but, it's dry and cracked.

"What?" Adrian pulled back a bit to wipe my tears

"I just-"

Come on Ashton pull your shit together.

"I used to be so good at taking shit but, ever since we moved to New York I-"

I take another deep breath because apparently I can't seem to fucking speak, "it takes almost nothing- I feel like i'm gonna blow up- and- I just can't control anything anymore and-"

Adrian cuts me off with more comfort.

Up until a year ago we lived in Pennsylvania with our mom but, when Adrian started gaining traction with his music and decided to move New York, I came with him. I was happy for him and I wouldn't of changed my decision for the world but, I missed my mom. I missed my old room. I missed not feeling exhausted and alone all the damn time.

"Knock knock."

a middle-aged man called out as he walked into the room. The scrubs and medical coat led me to making the assumption that he was the doctor.

He paused to read my name off of the cliff board, "How are we feeling ms... Wright?"

"I mean, I'm not dead I guess," I chuckled focusing on the white tile beneath me.

"Uh, yeah that is definitely a good thing," Mr.Doctor man cracked a nervous smile while pretending to get more info off of the board he was holding, "well yeah, I wanna keep you overnight just to make sure everything's out of your system ok?"

I nodded in response as a nurse came in carrying a small water cup.

Honestly, I couldn't really see what was in her other hand but I held my hand up to stop her because I could take a guess.

"Um- I- sorry but, given recent events," I took a minute to scratch my neck and, once again find my words, "I don't know if pills are the...best idea."

This didn't seem to please the short and grumpy looking woman. I don't think it bothered me too much I mean, she looked like her life was miserable as hell.

"Yeah, if you don't want the pill just say it," and just to top it off she added the most sarcastic smile I have ever seen in my life.

"It's alright Brenda, she'll be fine without it," the doctor sighed.

I was too busy focusing on the fact that Brenda was the perfect name to match her blonde pixie and bitchy attitude that I didn't catch the rest of what was being said. Hopefully it wasn't important.

"Ash," I'm brought back with a poke to my rib, "They want me to call mom."

oh shit. I guess that was important.

"Dee I'm fine, it was an insignificant moment of weakness," I rolled my eyes as I hop off the bed, "I'll be fine!"

I walked across the cold floor. I stumbled a little which seems fair to me considering the last time I was on my feet was- wait.

"How long was I out for anyway?"

"About...16 hours I guess?" Adrian responded after checking the date.

"Holy Shit," I sighed as I took in the reflection staring at me from the bathroom mirror.

I looked exhausted which is extremely ironic because apparently I just took the longest fucking sleep of my life.

"I really think you should call her, even just to check in ya know?"

"Yeah, I will I will," I mumbled as I blotted my face dry with a towel.

I desperately needed a shower but, rinsing my face would have to do until I had just a smidge more energy.