You're Not My Babysitter

Chapter 35

Ashton

"That's ridiculous!" Sydney chuckled taking a lick of his chocolate ice cream cone.

The five of us were currently walking around times square eating our ice cream and, debating whether there are more wheels or doors.

"How is it ridiculous?" I shouted.

"You can't go anywhere without a door," he said, "they are everywhere! Therefore there are more doors!"

"No no no," I sighed, "I will die on this hill."

Andy grabbed my hand as we kept walking, "I think I agree with Ashton."

"You have to! You guys are having sex!" Presley exclaimed earning weird looks from bystanders.

"Presley!" I let go of Andy's hand to pinch her in the arm.

"No," Andy started, "I mean yes but, that's not why. Look you know that doors are made with wheels right?"

"What- that's- really?" Gracie questioned.

"Yes, and depending on your definition of wheels, there's so many forms of them," Andy explained bringing a small grin to my face, "I mean there's steering wheels, door knobs, gears-"

"Ok ok," Sydney laughed, "I give up!"

We all laughed as he raised his hands in defense.

"Yeah, I wouldn't debate Andy on any topic unless you've studied it for at least 3 years." I said composing myself.

"Yeah," Sydney nodded, "lesson learned."

We all sat down at a picnic table near by.

"So how are you holding up love?" Presley asked leaning over to rub my shoulder a bit.

"I think I'm doing a little better now that I've talked about it," I gave a weak smile, "but it's just really fucking with me that I could've been a mom."

"What about you?" Gracie suddenly questioned.

I looked up to find her focus on Andy who seemed to be lost in thought. I leaned in and bumped our shoulders.

"Sorry," Andy smiled, "I'm alright."

I could tell he was putting up a front so I just gave his hand a light squeeze with my own.

——————————————————————————-

"You don't have to do that you know?" I smiled at Andy as we walked through the front door of my house.

"Do what?" Andy smiled back but, I could tell it wasn't genuine.

"The whole tough guy thing," I chuckled, "I really appreciate it but, I know you're hurting too and I want you to know it's ok for you to let it show."

He paused for a second. Then, he kissed me.

This kiss was different than the others. It wasn't rough but, it wasn't gentle. It was passionate and filled with affection. It lit me up.

As Andy pulled back he left his forehead resting on mine, "We could've had a kid."

I nodded my head, tears forming in my eyes, "I know. Trust me I know."

It was his turn to break down as I held him in my arms, "We could've had a kid. I could've been a dad. Ashton we could've been a parents-"

I cut him off with another kiss.

"It's ok. Baby it's ok let it out."

I was crying too at this point.

"Is it weird that I miss someone I've never met?" He questioned.

"I hope not because I do too."