You're Not My Babysitter

Chapter 33

Ashton (*TW* mentions of self-harm)

I was cuddled up next to Andy in my bed. His laptop was open in front of us and we were watching Princess and the Frog. He refused to leave after walking in on me bawling my eyes out.

"Andy." I said.

"Yup?"

"I- I feel like cutting again."

Andy paused the movie and sat up to look me in my eyes, "Ok. Thank you for telling me Jo."

A couple of weeks ago he had found scars on my hips and asked me to tell him when I felt like doing it again.

"Can- can I ask why you feel like cutting?"

I broke down into tears once again.

I can't tell you that. You'll hate me for it.

"Uh I-," I stuttered, "I don't know."

Andy kissed my forehead, "Are you sure you don't know?"

Normally that question would've been fine but, I was on edge.

I pushed away from him causing a look of hurt and confusion to fall in his face.

"Jo-"

"Get out."

"I'm sorry I was just-" He stepped closer and tried to pull me into a hug.

I pushed him away again.

Just keep pushing him away.

"Just get out Andy!" I yelled.

Without another word Andy left my room but, not before grabbing every sharp object he thought I could hurt myself with and, taking it with him.

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Andy

It's been 3 days since our fight and Ashton was still barely speaking to me. I didn't mean to upset her but, I could tell there was something she was keeping to herself and, she wasn't gonna feel better until she talked about it.

I walked into the living room and sat next to Ashton, causing her to scoot further away without breaking focus on the television.

"You didn't have to do that." I sighed.

No response.

"Jo?"

No response.

"Come on," I sighed, "I know you're mad at me but you can't just shut me out! You'll feel better if you just talk about it."

She looked at me for a moment before shutting the TV off and stomping up to her bedroom.

"Jesus fucking christ." I muttered to myself before following suit.

"Jo." I said knocking on her door.

Surprise surprise, no fucking response.

"Asht-"

Half way through the second knock Ashton's door flew open.

"What Andy," she yelled, "what the hell do you want!"

Her eyes were a darker shade green, filled with anger and hatred.

Woah.

"I- I-," I stuttered, "Ashton, what's going on? Please just let me in."

She fell into my arms before breaking down into tears. I rubbed her back as we slid to the floor of the hallway.

"I can't." she sobbed.

"Well, why not?"

"Because," Ashton choked out, "it's my fault! I should've been more careful and I don't want you to hate me."

My heart ached at the way her voice broke.

"Baby look at me," I said moving her head up to look at me, "you can tell me anything you want. You can't get rid of me that easily."

She gave out a little chuckle which brought a smile to my face.

"When I was- when I was in the hospital the other day-"

I kissed her forehead, "It's ok. Take your time."

"The doctor told me," Ashton paused again to collect her words, "Andy, I was pregnant."

What?

"Was?"

Ashton broke down into tears again before burying her head into my chest and absolutely breaking my heart.

"I had a miscarriage."