You're Not My Babysitter

Chapter 17

Andy

We all decided to walk to the venue since it was just down the street from where we met up to eat.

"Who's opening again?" I asked taking the last sip of my coke before throwing the plastic cup in a trash can on the side of the street.

"I don't know." Sydney responded.

"Well I guess we'll find out!" Presley smiled back at me.

I looked over to Ashton to see her texting on her phone, "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," she smiled as she turned her screen off and put her phone back in her pocket, "just excited that's all."

That's definitely not all.

"Ok, if you're sure."

"Actually," she sighed, "that's not all."

"Yeah I kinda figured but, I didn't want to force anything out of you," I chuckled, "what is it?"

Ashton glanced in front of us to make sure everyone else was far enough ahead before she said anything.

"So, the opening act is down with a cold and- Dee asked if I could take her spot," Her gaze averted from my eyes to the sidewalk, "Guess I'm just kind of nervous."

"I didn't know you sang," I chuckled as I wrapped my arm around her and leaned in so my lips were by her ear, "but I'm sure you'll be fantastic."

She looked up my way and sent me a smile.

"Thanks."

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"I must say that I was a little nervous tonight! This is the first real show I've ever played and, you guys have made me feel so welcome!" Ashton cheered into the microphone.

Her nerves were very obvious for the first couple of songs but, she got more confident throughout the night. I figured she could sing since her brother asked her to open for him but, I didn't expect her to be as good as she was. I mean, I've heard her singing in the shower and humming to herself but, I never really stopped to focus on the beauty of her voice. Most of the songs she sang were ones she wrote herself which, again, I didn't expect.

"Alright I've got one more song for you guys tonight," she smiled earning a cheer from the crowd, "this is something I wrote recently."

She picked up an acoustic guitar that was sitting on a stand to the left of her.

"Actually this is the first time I've played it for anyone other than my stuffed animals."

There was a chorus of laughter before she took a shaky breath and said something else.

"So uh- a little over a month ago now-"

My heart skipped a beat as I began to figure out where she was going with this, "A little over a month ago I was in the hospital after I tried to take my own life."

She paused after the crowd gasped but, continued after she looked over at me and I nodded my head.

"So uh, I guess I kind of wrote this as a message for my brother."

I could tell she was starting to tear up as she looked to the side of the stage which, I assumed was where Adrian was standing.

"So, here I go," Ashton cleared her throat, "this is called Play This When I'm Gone."

She strummed the guitar for a minute before she sang the first line,

I'm writing you this message just so I could say that I love you.

I had to let you know that everything about me was you.

Ashton looked back to the side of the stage again,

Don't have much time cause my anxiety's eating me alive.

I'm fighting with myself and I don't know if I'll survive.

I took a deep breath to stop myself from getting emotional.

I'm not gonna lie and tell you it's alright, it's alright.

You're gonna cry and baby that's alright, it's alright.

I wrote you this song to keep when I'm gone if you ever feel alone.

You're gonna cry and baby that's alright, it's alright.

and I'll miss you, I'll miss you, I'll miss you, I'll miss you yeah.

Ashton didn't take her eyes of her brother for the entirety of the song. She didn't look at the crowd once. If she did she would've seen how much so many people resonated with what she was saying. She would've seen her closest friends breakdown into tears.

and I was convinced she would've been able to see the way my heart truly ached for her.