If Im Not In Love

12

"Mmm...turn off my alarm." Meredith groaned, as she leaned into something really warm. It was the first sleep in weeks where everything felt so soft and warm. But it wasn't her husband, because she opened her eyes to find Derek, her friend. The one who was there. "Mmm...I don't want to get up."

"Good morning." He chuckled, reaching over and shutting off her alarm clock. He was still in his clothes from the night before.

"Mmm...oh Bradley." Meredith sat up quickly.

"He's not home." Derek breathed.

"Oh....I figured that." She pushed her long curls from her face, before leaning back againt the stupid metal headboard.

"I um...I stayed up until four and he didn't come back..."

"He might be working."

"Meredith..."

"I know..." She whispered. He wasn't home, no message or missed call on her phone.

"Did you sleep okay?" He asked.

"Yeah..." She looked over at the dresser, where a picture of her used to sit, the one Bradley loved the most and suddenly she realized that it was lying face down.

"Good." Derek sighed, kissing her head quickly before moving to get up.

"Maybe he slipped in."

"Do you want me to go check?"

"No." Meredith whispered.

"He's not here, Mer."

"Yeah..." Meredith groaned, standing up.

"I don't know about you...but I could use some coffee." Derek tried to change the subject, knowing it was probably useless.

"Yeah..." Meredith pulled her top over her head, as she walked to the dresser.

"It's in the cupboard above the stove?"

"Yeah..." Meredith pulled a sweater out of the top drawer, before turning around. "Derek you're not...never mind."

"What?"

"What?"

"You know they tell you to cut your caffeine intake when you're trying to conceive?" She replied, walking towards him as she slid the sweater over her bare top.

"Yeah...Oh...no coffee."

"Derek...I want coffee."

"I'll...you still take it black?"

"Yeah." She nodded, standing right in front of him.

"Okay." He breathed. "One cup of black coffee...coming up."

"Thank you...for staying."

"You don't have to thank me."

"You didn't have to stay and...thank you." She whispered.

"I wouldn't have been anywhere else." Derek breathed, reaching pushing her hair behind her ear.

"Nothing's the same anymore is it?"

"You want the truth?"

"No but I can handle it so...truth." She whispered.

"Nothing's the same anymore." He whispered.

"Okay..." She let out a deep breath.

"But it'll get better...I promise..."

"Yeah...."