If Im Not In Love

31

It was twelve o'clock in the morning and Derek couldn't sleep even if he tried. He was wide awake, sitting on the couch in the living room which he had made up as a bed, staring at the wall with his mother's words from earlier running through his head. All new knew was right now, he needed to talk to Meredith about this. They needed to decide if this was what they wanted or where it was going.

He went as quietly as he could upstairs, walking slowly past the door of the guest room where his mother was asleep before turning the door knob and letting himself into his bedroom where Meredith had been staying.

"Don't even think about it." He heard her groan as she lay on her side.

"Oh...good. You're awake." He shut the door slowly before walking over to the bed.

"No I'm not." She groaned, pulling the blankets closer to her body. She had been rather quiet, even through dinner.

"Scoot over.." He whispered.

"No."

"Please."

"Damn it..." She groaned, sitting up and running her hands through his hair as she moved her ass over just a little. "It's a king sized bed...and I'm not that fat."

"You were right in the middle." He laughed, climbing under the covers next to her.

"Your mother is in the other room."

"She's sleeping."

"I told you...my head isn't going in your lap."

"That's not why I'm here."

"Are you here so I can fucking kill you?"

"Not for that reason either."

"Well I should murder you...Dead Derek." She groaned, slapping his arm. 'Your mother...she thinks I'm fucking you."

"No she doesn't." He laughed, grabbing her hand.

'Which probably wouldn't piss me off so bad if I was...but I'm not so I am very clearly not happy with you."

"Uh huh..." Derek smiled, kissing her before she could say anything else.

"You can't just kiss me to shut me up." She whispered, their lips just a space apart.

"I'm not trying to shut you up...I just wanted to kiss you."

"Liar..." She whispered, kissing him lightly.

"My mom knows we're not doing anything."

"Anything?"

"I didn't exactly go into detail..."

"Okay." She whispered.

"You know that I love you right..."

"Derek..." Meredith rolled her eyes, lying back in bed.

"I'm serious." Derek whispered.

"Yes...I do." She whispered, running her hand over his cheek.

"And not...it's not out of pity or feeling sorry for you. I love you. I've been in love with you. But you're still married and if we're going to...keep doing this, we need to do it for the right reason."

"I know...I thought we weren't..."

"I want to be with you." Derek breathed, lacing his fingers with hers.

"I...."

"I'm happy that you're...moving on and getting back to your old self..."

"Okay..."