If Im Not In Love

26

Her face felt tight, her hair was sticking to her skin as she opened her eyes, immediately noticing the small amount of sunlight making its way through the hotel curtains. She blinked again as she realized her naked body was wrapped in fluffy comforters and a man, Derek, was holding her close. It was then that she found herself wanting to push back tears, forgetting the night before. She hated failing. Her marriage was supposed to last and she was supposed to prove her ideas all wrong. Instead her fear of it not working, came out in the end and she was lost. She wasn't even sure what she was anymore and that was terrifying.

The room was cold and dark and as she moved her leg, she felt Derek's leg against hers. He shifted in his sleep, pressing a kiss to her messy hair before pulling her closer, his hands moving over her bare waist. He was holding her and suddenly the room didn't feel so cold. "Hmm."

"Good morning." Derek whispered, running his hands along her waist. He had slept only for a few hours, most of the time staying awake to make sure that Meredith was sleeping and okay.

"You're still here." She whispered, a slight shiver running up her spine which was probably from the cold, but possibly from the way his strong hands felt holding her.

"You sound surprised..."

"You're always here when I wake up." Meredith whispered, as he pushed a strand of hair from her face. "Whenever something goes wrong...when I lost my first patient...the baby...after I got hit...now...you're always...you're here."

"Meredith..." Derek chuckled, kissing her forehead. "There isn't anywhere else that I'd be..."

"I know."

"There was no robe so..."

"It's okay..." She whispered.

"Did you sleep?" He breathed, stroking her cheek.

"Sorry."

"It's okay..." He smiled softly, kissing her forehead. "I'm fine."

"Hmm."

"You must be hungry."

"A little."

"Good...me too." He kissed her forehead, before moving to grab the phone, letting go of her.

"You're..." Meredith frowned.

"Hmm?" Derek asked, grabbing the room service menu from the bed side table.

"Nothing." She whispered, relieved that he was pulling her right back into his arms.

"You picked a good hotel." He smiled.

"Oh." Meredith giggled.

"Ah...There it is..."

"There is what?"

"You're laugh."

"Oh."

"I know you're going to be okay when you laugh like that." Derek whispered.

"Hmm."

"How does eggs and bacon sound?"

"Sounds...good."

"Anything else?"

"Coffee?"

"That's a given." He laughed, kissing her cheek before ordering their breakfast. He knew she wasn't okay but even after one night he was glad to see glimpses of the old Meredith.

"Derek..." She whispered as he hung up the phone, pressing a soft kiss to her hair. They had fought, before all of this. They had fought.

"Yeah?"