If Im Not In Love

22

Her lips were salty, which meant one thing. She was still crying. She wasn't even sure why she was crying, the man was right. She wanted him terribly but having sex wouldn't have fixed things and she hated that he was right. She would never admit it. Never. Bradley was a cheater, she wasn't. She had kissed Derek, but that had felt so right. She made no apologies for that. But she knew sleeping with him was wrong. At the time she didn't but at the moment, she knew all about how wrong it was and she wasn't a cheater. But she was still crying as she sat in her musky smelling empty house.

It was probably a bad idea to be here alone, especially when she was wanting nothing more then to be around someone who wanted her. She was alone. That was okay. Derek had said things and she was so foggy headed she couldn't remember. She had packed her things and left, driving furiously and the stupid neighbor had waved as she made her way into the house, dragging those stupid bags. But as she heard the front door open, she wiped at her eyes. Maybe it was Derek. He was probably afraid of her being home alone and she kind of figured he would come, but she didn't need him to see the tears. "I know what you're going to say."

"I'm home." Bradley's voice rang through the house, the sound of his luggage hitting the floor following after. "Meredith? Are you here?"

"Brad..." She whispered, looking up from the couch as his footsteps came closer.

"Mer? Baby?"

"What are you doing here?" She asked, as he walked into the living room and flipped on a light switch.

"Mark didn't tell you that I was on the way home?"

"No...I haven't spoken to Mark in a few days." Meredith replied, looking at the man strangely. He was tan.

"Oh...I left him a message...he just not have gotten it. You know how he is...probably running around..." Bradley laughed, acting as if nothing had happened the last time that they had been in this house together.

"You can leave now." She crossed her arms, before looking back at the wall. She didn't care why he was here and she felt sick.

"Meredith...baby, I'm so sorry."

"Stop..."

"I didn't mean to hurt you like that."

"I know." She whispered, her voice still a little frozen. He wasn't here, he had a week and he wasn't supposed to be here. "I um...I know it was a fight with you and Mark...you didn't...you're not a man who hits his wife."

"No. Believe me...and next time I see Mark..."

"What are you doing?" She looked up, her face full of confusion.

"What do you mean? I'm home."

"What do I mean?"

"I'm home, Mer. I'm not going anywhere. Hawaii gave me...a lot of time to think. And I missed you."

"Oh..." Meredith looked down at her hands.

"I don't want to give up on us."

"You've been..." Meredith was pretty sure she had the same expression since he walked in the house. "I don't..."

"I can't live without you Meredith." Bradley whispered, taking her hand.

"I..." Meredith looked around the empty house. SHe was pretty sure she was going crazy.

"You don't have to worry about anything anymore."

"Stop....don't say anything." She shook her head.