Always an Option

Chapter 17 - Rebellious Love

I wanted to mock myself.

The way I said na kakalimutan ko ang lahat ng nangyari samin ng gabing iyon, it was easier said than to do it. Akala ko madali pero fuck! Isang buwan na ang nakakalipas, laman padin iyon ng isip ko. I already dream of that night as a beautiful night only to wake up with a reality that Aziel regret it.

Hindi ko naman inaasahan na panagutan niya ako. It was enough for me to give my virginity to the person I love and I don’t expect something in return. Naiinis ako nang dahil sa kapusukan ko nasira ang pagkakaibigan namin. Sana na kuntento nalang ako sa pagiging kaibigan niya.

I was desperate to forget it that night!

Kakalimutan ko si Aziel!

Kakalimutan ko ang lahat ng sakit!

There’s a party on the island because of fiesta and there’s a lot of foreigners. At sa kagustuhan kong makalimutan si Aziel, I partied that night. I wore the skimpiest dress I found on my closet. It was a maroon dress with a low v-neckline and open back, the length was just an inch from my butt.

I will fucking erase that night on my mind and replaced with a new memories, a night with stranger!

There in the party, I met Andrew. He’s a chef of his own restaurant in New York, he’s an American having a month-long vacation here in Davao. I found our conversation boring, but I like his blue eyes, and he’s handsome too.

‘But Aziel hits different, right?’ Bulong ng isang parte ng utak ko.

Fuck.

Gusto kong murahin ang sarili ko. Paano ko makakalimutan si Aziel at ang isang gabing pagkakamali na iyon kung kahit sa pagpapahanap ko ng makakausap ay siya ang nasa isip ko.

Andrew is being touchy with me all night, but I don’t care anymore. I was so desperate to forget that night and I’ll use Andrew too.

Ilang oras kaming magkasayaw at magkausap, pagsapit ng ala una, hindi na nakatiis si Andrew.

“Your place or mine?’’ Andrew whispered.

Napalunok ako.

Talaga bang kaya ko ‘tong gawin. To sleep with a fucking stranger?

“Mine.”

Halos patakbo naming tinahak ang apartment ko, pero hindi ako makapag-isip nang maayos. Kinakabahan ako. My irrational mind is screaming at me to run away from this man.

Pagpasok namin sa loob ng apartment ay kaagad akong hinalikan sa labi ni Andrew. At hindi ko gusto ang nararamdaman ko. I fucking hate what I feel, I feel like I’m cheating to Aziel right now which is not right. Wala kaming relasyon. Pilit ko mang isiksik ang boses na iyon ay lalo itong lumalakas habang bumababa ang halik ni Andrew sa leeg ko.

I shivered in bad way when I felt his lips on my shoulder blades.

“Stop!” Tinulak ko siya ng malakas.

“Fuck you! Stop being hard to get! I know you want this!” He held my hands above my head, kissed me aggressively on my cleavage.

Nagpumiglas ako pero tila hindi man lang siya natinag at nagpatuloy lang sa paghalik sakin.

“Stop this, Andrew! I don’t want this!”

“You seduced me all night and now, you’ll tell me you don’t want this. You slut! After I make you come, you’ll beg for more!”

I can’t forget his evil smirk as he ripped my dress into half.

I tried to kick him on his balls but he punched me on my guts. I feel like throwing and my sight is blurring. Pinikit ko ang mata ko at tinanggap na ang kapalaran ko. I can’t fight anymore. Before I lost my consciousness, I heard the door on the bedroom opened. Hindi ko na alam ang nangyari dahil nawalan na ako ng malay.