A Court of Trust and Enemies

Chapter 10

He had screwed up, royaly, teribely, fucked things up. The look on Evalyn's face once he had turned towards her had said it all. Luna's tears said the rest. And then it was Hope. The girl he loved like a daughter... Nyx had not only screwed things up, he had burned them to the ground.

He flew over the camp, trying to get his head cleared out. Not that it helped, his words, Evalyns scared face, Luna's tears, Hoped cries swirled around in it. Around and around, leaving no room for him to move on. He had hurt them, those he wanted to protect had been hurt by his words and actions. The wind joined the roar in his head, making the spinning worse, if that even was possible. He started to slow down his flying, stopping to just hover over the camp. He needed to talk to them all, ask for forgiveness...

He just didn't know if he should start with Luna or Evalyn. His sister or his mate...

He had said awful things in anger against Luna, in anger over the fact that she needed to go back to Tamlin again. And that anger had gone out over her, he had lost it on her.

How do I know that you didn't like it with him? How could he have said that? How? Nyx shook his head and started to descend down to the camp, he needed to talk to Luna first, apologise, ask her to forgive him, and then figure things out. That sounds like a plan... He landed and started to look around, hoping to see her in the rings, or in her tent, or...

"I wouldn't talk to her right now if I were you, boy." Azriel walked up behind him. "She needs some time."

"I just need to tell her that I am sorry... I didn't mean-"

"It doesn't matter, let her be." Az placed his hand on Nyx's shoulder. "Take a walk with me." The two Illyrains walked around in the camp in silence. Nyx saw how some where training, some sat around fiers cooking. His people, those he needed to help and serve... Had he failed them too today?

"How bad did I fuck things up?" He asked once they left the camp grounds, walking on a field that had been used to grow some food.

"Badly, but I think your father have done worse." Azriel stoped, "Everyone fucks some things up sometimes."

"I accused my sister of being in love with Tamlin..."

"And if she was?" Azirels question made Nyx's stomach turn.

"No, she can't be. How can one love someone like him?"

"How can one love a male that tortures and kills as a jobb? Or one that sacrificed everyone he could to make sure he had some power left?" Azriel contred. "I don't think Luna loved him, but I think she needed to be there, if so only for a moment."

"I just don't understand why... Why hide? Why not come to our help..."

"Why do we train so much?" Azriel's question made Nyx twist his head.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer."

"So we know what to do in stressful situations. We train so we know in our blood what to do."

"Why do Evalyn still study the body and anatomy of different fae? Even after she knows that she has the power to heal them all?"

"To do it in the best possible way..."

"What type of life has Luna lived and known until last year?"

"A..." Nyx blinked. "A life in hiding."

"She did what she knew." His uncle's words flew around his mind. He had always believed that the consequences of Luna being hidden was her lack of training on non-Daemati minds, but it was bigger than that... Aziel sighed, breaking Nyx out from his thoughts. "Have you ever transformed into that Beast before?"