His Sunflower

Chapter 21

Mom was coming home today. Which had me in a bad mood all week. Not bad as in I was mad all the time, no, just distracted and unfocused. Not even Ethan's lame jokes could make me feel better. I just don't know how to feel about mom coming back. I'm worried she might act irrationally again and try killing herself again. But also she might not and we could finally have a somewhat normal life again.

"Zoey, I'm worried about you. Please tell me what's wrong." Ethan begs as he sits next to me at our lunch table.

"Nothing's wrong Ethan." I mumble letting my head fall onto the lunch table.

"Zoey, Andy won't stop asking if you're ok. She says all of your teachers are worried about you. You're a straight A student. Never gotten a B. And now you're not even turning in assignments! Something is wrong."

I groan. "What does it matter? You barely know me." And it's true. We've only known each other for three weeks. Why would I go and put all my troubled thoughts on him?

"I know you enough to know something is wrong. I haven't seen you eat since you came back from suspension."

"Everyone has those days when they just aren't hungry."

"Zoey, I'm not joking here. What's up? You can trust me, I swear you can."

I sigh. "Will you stop bugging me if I tell you?"

"Yes, I will. I promise."

I lift my head off the table and look around, there's too many people here. Ethan seemed to have thought the same thing because he stands up taking my hand in his cold stiff one, and leads me outside. He sits us on one of the picnic tables here.

"So what's up?"

I sigh heavily. "I cannot believe I'm about to tell you this. I swear Ethan, if I hear one judgmental comment or hear you spreading rumors-"

Ethan slaps his hand over my mouth to shut me up. "Zoey, I'm not going to judge you or spread rumors. I said you could trust me. You do trust me right?"

I nod without even having to think about it. Of course I trust Ethan, if I didn't we wouldn't be here right now.

"See? Now please tell me what's wrong. I hate hate seeing you so upset."

Ethan removed his hand from my mouth and I take a deep breath. "So as you know, my younger brother, Matthew, died when he was seven. Two almost three years ago."

Ethan nods. Remembering when I was telling his mom that and he was sitting in the conversation.

"Well when he died my parents had some issues. My dad started going out at night, drinking and shit. Over the first year of his death, my dad got really bad and would stay out for several nights on end without telling anyone where he was. Meanwhile my mom is still grieving over his death, and still taking care of me and my other siblings. Anyway, one day my dad came back, he and my mom had this big fight. Dad ended up saying how he was going to change, he stayed for a week until I kind of yelled at him and then he left for a week. When he was gone, my mom decided to take a break from their marriage, because it was in literal shambles. So the four of us moved in with my grandparents."

Ethan's eyes widen, because he knows that I lived with my grandparents before I temporarily moved in with my dad.

"A bit later my dad came back, and took mom with him. They went back to our house, just the two of them to try and fix their marriage. They didn't want us kids staying with them because they both knew they'd be fighting a lot. Anyway, a while later, my grandparents randomly rushed to the hospital, not telling me why. So I called my dad, wondering if he knew. He never picked up. So I called my mom, she never picked up. So I called my grandma, she did pick up. She let me talk to my dad, and I'm not stupid, I easily figured out what happened. My mom... she uh... she tried committing suicide." I whispered the last sentence, not liking how she really tried doing that.

I barely even register Ethan wrapping an arm around my shoulders as I continue.

"Yeah, later that day I was brought to the hospital. I ended up yelling at my dad again, I blamed what my mom did on him, which was totally wrong of me. Anyway, my mom ended up getting admitted to the psych ward, because my grandpa thought she needed it. My siblings and I kept living with my grandparents, and I held a grudge against my dad still. I visited my mom twice while she was in the psych ward. The first time didn't go well at all, I had a lot of anger and so did my mom. My mom yelled at me, I yelled back. Then the second time it was better I guess, she said when she gets out she and my dad will be ok and we can be a happy family again."

Ethan pulls me closer, basically pulling me into his lap, but I don't even notice.

"I fixed things with my dad, he and I are good now. But now my mom's getting released from the psych ward, today to be exact. She'll be there when I get back from school. She and I have only seen each other twice in the past two years, and both times I was extremely mad at her. I mean, what type of mom tries taking their life? She has three kids who need her! And now I don't know what to feel because I'm happy she's finally stable enough to come home, but I'm worried things might go back to how they were."

I don't even notice the tears slowly flowing down my face until Ethan wipes them away.

"I am not good at comforting people, I never know what to say, saying lame jokes is my thing, but now isn't the joking time, so I'm sorry I can't comfort you any better." Ethan says hugging me tightly.

"It's ok. I don't expect you to say anything. You wanted to know what was wrong, so that's it. My mom's coming back and my mind is a rollercoaster."

Ethan hugs me tighter. "I know we've just met, but I'll always be here for you Zoey. If you ever need to talk, if you ever need to just get out and get your mind off things, I promise I'll be there to help."

"Thank you Ethan." I whisper. It's honestly nice knowing Ethan cares, because if he didn't care then he wouldn't be here right now comforting me.

"No problem sunflower."

"You're such a dork."

"I know."