His Sunflower

Chapter 56

When we pull away, which was a fair amount of time later, Ethan gives me a look. "Why'd you do that?"

I shrug. "Because you were looking at me like you wanted to kiss me."

"I mean you're not wrong."

I chuckle softly, and Carrot comes running over to me, wagging her tail. She drops a stick down for me, so I toss it. Then stare down at my chalk drawing, avoiding eye contact with Ethan.

"Amor, look at me." Ethan says softly.

Do I? No. I just fidget with my fingers, until Ethan gently takes my chin in his hands making me look at him. He just smiles at me. "I know you want to say something, so go ahead."

I swallow. Dammit. I knew the second I kissed him he'd know something was up.

I try looking away, but Ethan doesn't let me. So I huff. "I wanna date again." I mumble quietly.

"You do?" He asks, looking somewhat surprised.

"Yeah. If you want to I mean."

Ethan just kisses me again, still not letting go of my chin. "I do. I really really do. I love you Girasol."

I bite my lip, forcing my chin out of Ethan's hands. I want to tell Ethan I love him, but honestly the thought of telling him scares me. After seeing what love did to my parents, I'm scared of that happening to us.

But it's not fair to leave Ethan thinking I don't love him. He deserves to know.

"I'm scared." I finally decide to say. Maybe if Ethan just assures me we won't turn into my parents it'll be ok.

"Scared of what?" Ethan asks scooting closer to me.

Right at that moment Ethan's parents, Leo, and Vance all come outside. Walking to their cars. Carrot runs to me, sitting in my lap again.

They all leave for their parent teacher conference, and then it's just Ethan and I again. And Carrot, but she doesn't seem to mind.

Ethan, who was basically sitting directly behind me now, pulls me backwards so I'm laying down in his lap, looking up at him, and Carrot moves to lay partly on my lap, partly on my torso.

"Scared of what?" Ethan repeats.

I take a deep breath. "Us turning into my parents. I've seen what love did to them. I don't want it to happen to us."

"I don't think it will Zoey." Ethan says, brushing some stray hairs out of my face as he smiles down at me.

"Yeah, neither did my parents Ethan." I blink. "They didn't think anything would happen, then Matthew died. Everything was great until my little Mattie died. I watched their marriage turn into shambles, I was there when they separated, I was there when dad came and find mom, furious for some reason. He left with her, and then next thing I knew I was being told mom was going to be staying in the psych ward for a little bit. Not almost a year. And I know they tried to hide it when mom came back, but I still to this day hear them arguing. Their love is tearing them apart, yet not letting them leave each other. And I don't want that to happen to us."

"I can't promise it won't happen to us, but I can promise to try and prevent it from ever happening. Anyway, it wasn't love that started the problems, it was a big loss. When a loved one passes, that's when you see the side of someone you've probably never seen."

I hold you my pinky. "Promise me you'll try to prevent us from becoming my parents. Promise me."

Ethan locks pinkies with me, leaning down and kissing my with our pinkies still connected. He pulls away, smiling again. "I promise."

I lay in his lap for several minutes, petting Carrot while Ethan twirls his fingers in my loose strands of hair.

"I love you." I mumble. He promised me, and I trust Ethan. So I might as well tell him what he deserves to hear.

Ethan grins. "Really?!"

I nod. "Yeah."

Ethan's silent for a bit then he leans down kissing my forehead. "Well nice to know you love me, but I probably shouldn't kiss you anymore."

I snort. "Yeah no thanks. How about we date again? I don't foresee myself getting mentally unstable any time soon. I think by not dating you I'm making both of us feel worse."

Ethan shrugs. "Why not."

He leans down kissing my again, but soon pulls away and starts laughing. Like really laughing.

"What's so funny?" I ask raising my eyebrow.

"I don't know! I was just kinda thinking how scandalous this is. Not only are we kissing in front of Carrot, but we were kissing as merely acquaintances!"

"Not anymore. You're my boyfriend now."

"Yeah but that happened like ten seconds ago. We kissed before that."

I shrug. "I'm known for being scandalous."

Ethan grins. "You're adorable Amor."

"You too Ganso. I love you."

Ethan grins. "I love you too."