Spiderdad

62

Peter awoke with a start, his heart thundering with the lingering echoes of his night terrors. His eyes darted around the room, trying to recognize his surroundings. 

"Good morning, Peter," Felicia greeted as she walked into her bedroom with breakfast, "you feeling okay?"

Peter drew in a deep, shuddering breath and rubbed his face as he let it out. His hands fell back into his lap and he shook his head wordlessly, his throat feeling dry and his mouth feeling too heavy to open. 

"I brought you some toast, eggs, and water," she said as she sat on the edge of the bed by his feet, "I thought you might be hungry."

Peter shook his head and muttered, "I'm not."

"I know you are, Pete," she said as she handed him the glass of water, "just try to eat a little bit, okay?"

Peter nodded reluctantly and forced down a few sips of water. Felicia set the food down next to him and chewed on the inside of her cheek, thinking all too hard about what she was about to say. Peter set the water aside and said:

"Is something wrong?"

"No. Michelle wants to talk to you, though. Once you're done eating, I can walk you to her house."

Peter's jaw went tight then he huffed a sigh of defeat, "...okay."

"You're okay with that?" Felicia checked. 

"Yeah. I really need her right now," Peter ran his hand through his hair.

Felicia nodded, "I know. Now eat up, and we can go pay her a visit."

Before Peter could knock on the door of Michelle's home, the door swung open and Michelle flung her arms around him. Peter let out a sigh of relief and sank into her welcoming touch. Life always felt a little better when he was in Michelle's arms. 

After a moment, they let go of each other and looked over at Felicia. 

"Thank you, Fel," Peter said gratefully, "for everything."

She smiled warmly and shrugged, "anytime, Pete. I owe it to you."

They parted ways, and Michelle welcomed Peter into her home as she explained, "my mom is out shopping with Adrian, my dad's at work, and Ned was just here a minute ago to pick up Natalia. He and his grandmother are gonna take care of her today."

Peter nodded as she led him to the couch and had him sit down beside her. He lay his head on her chest and she draped her arms around his back like a blanket. He listened to the steady beating of her heart and the pace of his own heart gradually slowed to tap in unison with hers. 

"I love you," he muttered softly. 

"I love you, too," she replied as she stroked his back, "so what's going on with you?"

He closed his eyes tiredly, "I dunno. I just... I can't breathe."

"You're scared?"

He nodded, "it feels like everything is going to fall apart. Last night, I kept thinking about how I almost felt like... like life was better when it was bad. I wanted to start drinking again, and I'm so, so sorry I even thought about it."

"It's okay, love. Why did you want to drink again?"

"I don't know. I guess for balance?"

"Balance?"

Peter bobbed his head, "life is too good right now, and I feel like I gotta fuck it up before someone else does."

"Well, that's fucking stupid," Michelle deadpanned.