Dasey (Derek and Casey) Life With Derek

Nursery.

With the honeymoon concluding and me and Casey returning to Toronto. She threw herself into the nursery that we neglected to plan for because of all the family drama Rama that happened. I went back to work but the anxiety and rejection we felt from our family never really left. It was this elephant in the room we'd spoken of but never tried to fully get to the bottom of. Emily was by Casey's side everyday she could be. Casey was now on maternity leave and kicking into overdrive about neutral colours and how they are better for the baby's eyes.

"Casey I'm sure you'll pick the perfect colour pallet but I don't know the difference between white and white."

"DEREK! It's eggshell!."

"How about yellow?."

"That's to bright for a newborns eyes.."

"Isn't there are pastel yellow or something?."

"Do you even care?."

"about colours? No."

"So you don't care..."

Suddenly Casey started crying in the middle of Walmart. I didn't know how to respond but everyone glanced and passed around us. She'd been stressed and hurting everyday and lonely even with Emily.

"I don't know what I'm doing...."

"About the colours?."

"You know I'm not crying about the Colours!."

"I know it's about Nora and everyone...."

"I'm happy George came around don't get me wrong Derek...but my mom. I just thought she'd help me and give me advice. I feel unprepared,scared and lonely when I should be at my all time happiest."

I just hugged her as she sobbed into my sweater. With her grandmas attempt at breaking us up and the crippling realization that we have no family to help and few friends to trust. It's become isolating and we fight over silly things. It's us but in high school. Once Casey calmed down,we both picked a colour and we went with a simple white.

Back at the loft I started on the crib and Casey laid down. I didn't want her over exerting anything and Emily would come later to help me paint. The days and weeks began to blur as Casey's due date hung closer and closer. Emily and I were able to get the nursery set up for the baby in time. Casey had bought some things the rest were wedding gifts she'd requested. She's always thinking ahead. I love that over planning, five steps ahead side of her. I hope our baby will be as smart as her but hopefully not to studious. That way if it's a boy or girl they can still joke with me and pull pranks once in awhile.

I saw the photos Casey picked for the nursery with our family. It was a photo of all of us. A really good day where we'd all miraculously gotten along. It had us on the couch with Lizzie, my dad,Nora,Marti,Edwin, me and Casey. And suddenly I started to feel a lump in my throat so I put back the framed photo of us and saw the pictures of me and her. The pregnancy photos we'd taken. Pictures of me and her kissing. It was another world in this nursery one where we had our family and we could be together.

I couldn't hold it together and I started to cry,Casey was out buying extra pampers and wipes,formula the works. She was determined to not need a thing for awhile and had this glow about her. I cried and didn't realize the door was unlocked to our apartment.

"Derek, it's dad....you here son?."

"Uh...yeah... in here."

"I managed to sneak yours and Casey's baby clothes Nora had. We have so many outfits for baby Blake and look I got some shoes...son what's wrong?."

"Dad..."

I just grabbed hold of my dad and he dropped the box full of clothing and grabbed onto me. I'd let myself cry infront of Casey but I was suffering and I didn't want her to stress so I held in my pain. These photos overwhelmed me. My dad said nothing just held me and small tears trickled down both our cheeks as we waited for the tears to stop.

Later once what seemed like hours of crying passed by. We slumped by the crib and just looked at the photos hung up on the wall.

"I'm sorry son...."

"Dad? What?."

"I wish....I wish you and Casey had it easier...if I'd never met Nora maybe you and Casey would've had a chance.."

"Dad no! You weren't happy for along time... Nora makes you so happy and she is the reason I and Casey met...we wouldn't of met otherwise..."

"I don't know I'm not sure I sometimes think about it. Maybe you and Casey would've met in college. Had a real chance. I and Nora could've been in laws..."

"What brought this on..."

"Nora...she blames herself...she blames me...us for this. She asked me if we made a mistake getting married...forcing the family together..."

"You two had the blended family talk years ago.."

"Yes but this has her rethinking everything and she's just so angry and sad...I just wish you and Casey and me and Nora...I don't know son...but I love you and I love my grandkid.."

"Haha thanks old man...I'm terrified dad.."

"I know son but there isn't a manual for marriage or being a dad...I'll keep working on Nora and your siblings. You just make sure my grandson or granddaughter gets here safely."

"Will do and dad thank you for all the clothes we will need it."

"Course and I like the nursery."

Nothing else was said as both me and my dad listened to the A/C and sat in silence understanding that there is unconditional love and support. I hope he can convince Nora and the sibs. I miss everyone and soon enough we heard Emily and Casey coming through the door.

"Derek you left the door unlocked again...GEORGE! great to see you dad!."

"Hey Casey and Emily."

"What's up Mr.Venturi?."

"Oh just dropping off some baby clothes for my grandchild."

"Oh thanks would you like to stay for dinner!."

"Oh no...N-umm I'm expected home..."

"Oh...right...bye George..."

"See you soon Casey. Emily. Son."