Dasey (Derek and Casey) Life With Derek

Hiding

I felt relieved that Casey was feeling the same way as I do and that we could be together now,although we agreed we would wait until we finish our time at Queens and then drop the bomb on our family about us.

Once we got cleaned and ready to head home,Casey and I for the first time truly got along.The unreleased tension was gone we started talking about moments where each of us felt something.Casey said she loved being in the band with me when 'D-Rock' preformed in clash of the bands.Casey really has a gorgeous voice but I remember how surprised I was that she could pull off the hot,rock,pop,punk chick look that she did and when she tore off her clothing I felt like I saw someone I didn't know and wanted to know more.

"Derek that was the best I felt like I could be a leather clad biker girl that day" I laughed but then remembered when I felt truly jealous and it was when she dressed like 'Babe Raider' at school,the way other guys and Sam looked at her I wanted to make the excuse that she's my step sister and I was being protective.I was lying because I acted more like an upset boyfriend and told her about the end of the game where the main female strips. All in an effort to get Casey to change, I brought it up and Casey was shocked "I didn't know Derek and you really shouldn't try to dictate what I wear." I knew she was right and I told her those were the thoughts of a hormonal teenager.

Each memory felt lighter and had a sweeter scent now that these emotions were out in the open. "Casey there was a moment I gave up,buried things deep" Casey looked at me "was it the night before we were packing for Queens?" She knew! "Yeah....when you said I was the most annoying brother I corrected you by saying step brother because I wanted that and when you said same difference I said yeah alright because I thought my feelings would always be toxic and one sided" I saw Casey's expression and she had a half smile on her lips "I said that Derek because I wanted to mean it,I knew things might change once we were at university and the first few years were normal,than the annual frat party...I wanted something to happen to either kill my feelings for you or force myself to confront them" so that's why she was speaking to Bradley.

"Amazing we both managed to hide them for so long". I commented "not well" Casey joked and I knew she was right but we both have been burying emotions and pretending for so long now. I felt free and alive and most of all home,that this was the person who I could truly leave my heart with. As we approached our home and parked we smiled and tried again to pretend fight so everyone thinks we are friendly but not lovers,that things are normal and now,here,I feel the distance grow.

We are lying and living it more painful here,so I call up Emily and Sam and Ralph and organize a get together with everyone.They said they would but in about three hours as their doing the life catch up with family to and wanted details of our lives at Queens.

I went across the hall and knocked on Lizzies room to tell Casey the news and she was more than excited,I'm just looking for a reason to get out of the house and avoid lying further. Why do I feel guilty when I know we aren't wrong! Are we wrong? It doesn't feel that way.I feel happy and safe,at peace and at home but the fear of being rejected by the fam is sinking in,not just my brother Ed but Smarti and Dad,Nora and Liz....little Blake is to small to remember us.