That Girl Who Saved Five (ON HOLD)

Chapter 16

Hey guyz! So, I am writing now in a very formal (well as formal as I can muster) and am posting today. You guys are very lucky now that I am free. The ending of a book is important. Anyway, read this chappy and let's see what you guys think about it. Look at A/N after this.

I had returned from gym and went to take a shower and then I collapsed on my bed. I looked at the time and it was only two in the evening. Did that almost kiss happen only a few hours ago. That damned moment. I just can't for one second believe that he was almost gonna kiss me.
"Yes you can." said my conscious.
"Really? Now?" I talked back to my conscious.
It's been a day and I am going on with life like any normal person except that I am not in a normal situation.
So don't worry, just like normal people I have that damned almost-kiss still stuck in my head. I check the time again and It's almost night and I am still thinking about it. I sighed. Could life be any easier than this or what?

I don't get why I am even thinking about it. I mean it's not like we are into each other. He is a criminal and I am a victim of his. Still stuck in this dreadful layer but, is that how I feel everyday? Do l really regret my decision so much about leaving my home that I am balled up in a corner and crying my eyes out everyday?

'Actually, if I may interfere, you dress quite slutty than usual (not like that girl in the bar of course) because you want to impress him, care about him so much you threw yourself off a roof, almost tried to kiss him, and still don't give a shit about your leaving because you'd rather be with him.' My conscious interfered.

'Thanks for pointing it out for me. I wasn't gonna brainstorm at all.' I answered back.

'You weren't. Thaaat's the problem here. You've been acting like one of those love-sick people in your school-who you used to tease by the way-and you know it. Why don't you think for a while and see what's really been going on in that heart of yours. For once stop torturing yourself. We'll check your soul later.' My conscious answered almost bitterly. That startled me.

I thought about that for a while. Was it true that I was acting like them. Was I getting that blind? Then, what my conscious was saying, it dawned on me.

'No! NO I am not gonna open up my heart. You know what happens when I do that. I might go somewhere I am not supposed. it'll only hurt me. Converting anger into tears, happiness into sadness, mask into reveal, my world into reality-that is the world in which I think I am invincible-if i do that recovering will be hard.' I told my conscious almost as if I was whispering it.

"See Rose i have kept access to your heart even if you haven't and i know that after all the hypocrisy you have brought upon yourself and pretending to be okay when your heart is always getting arrows thrown towards it and it doesn't miss...unfortunately you can recover faster than ever before because it has become a second nature to you. You have built walls of maybe titanium or platinum, hell a new element that is impossible to penetrate. No one can make you sad but at the same time, no one can make you happy either. It's your fault and that's the reason why you're all alone when it comes to a problem you're facing. what I am trying to say is that don't keep yourself completely vulnerable but at the same time don't keep yourself a secret. But for now forget that. Right now open up yourself and think about every thing that has happened till today and why." my conscious answered.

I thought about this. I have to listen. I should open up my heart for a while and think. Its better to relieve the pain than to contain it right?.

I sighed, "Where do we start?" i asked defeated.

"How about why you decided to leave your family to save them?" my conscious asked.

"Well here goes nothing." I stated before I started what I should've done years ago. I thought about...

Me: *looks around for readers. Slowly goes towards 'Edit'*

Readers: THERE SHE IS! CATCH HER! *Run towards Jolly with swords and pitchforks*

Me: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! Nonononono wait. I've got three updates!

Readers: *look at Jolly suspiciously* Prove it.

Me: I will if you throw all those weapons in the volcano.

Readers: *look at volcano* We should run.

Me: I will but I must update first. I shall sacrifice myself.

Readers: No. Hurry. Someone told us if you update now then the volcano won't erupt!

Me: *Runs to update*

So guyz I know I've not been updating for a while but I have a perfect excuse. I had to move across the country back to my family cuz it's vacations now. They were so excited and wouldn't leave me so I have been very tired. But I have three chappys!! So here goes...

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--Z