- Charlotte Carter is a 23 year old young woman who is a Landscape Architect. She has been looking for a job lately and her best friend Waverly's friend Liam works at Lombardo Construction Company which is one of the best Construction Companies in t...
I walked inside my room after having dinner with my parents. They think I'm doing good and I feel better emotionally but I lost count of how many times I have to fake my emotions in a day. I just don't want them to worry, they have enough to deal with. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower, I started to undress and took off the hoodie I was wearing and I could see the 3 cuts on my ribcage, I knew they wouldn't leave a scar because I cut enough to relief the emotional pain and cause physical pain but also not too deep for it to leave a scar later on.
I looked at myself in the mirror. You are useless, you let him treat you like trash and now you are a disturbance in your parents life, god you're a 20 year old woman who has to live with her parents because you're too scared to go back to your apartment.
I showered after battling my thoughts for a while. I got out and started to get ready for bed. My phone started to ring after I finished combing my hair. I walked to my bed and sat on the edge and answered.
"Hello?" I spoke into the phone after seeing a number I didn't recognize. "So it's true you're alive" I heard the man on the other end say. He knows and he is going to look for me. I started to shake as fear started to take over my body. "J-J-Jackson" I stuttered into the phone while tears ran down my cheeks. "What you didn't think I was going to let you go off easily right, I've been waiting for you at your apartment to make an end to your miserable life" he said. Why? What the fuck did I do to him? "Jackson just... please l-leave me a-a-alone" I cried into the phone. "No see I'm doing you a favor nobody is going to miss you, do you really think you lived up to the daughter your parents wanted? No honey no..." he said chuckling while I cried, "... you are a disgrace of a daughter, so weak, so useless, if you were my daughter I would kill you, you're nothing but a waste of space you know that right?" he said. He was right, I'm useless and I'm just a burden to my parents. "Your brother has to take care of you and do you think he wants to... of course he doesn't." he said and I sniffled into the phone. "Stop it, you are wrong they... they love me" I said and he started to laugh, "are you trying to convince me or yourself? C'mon Charlotte you should just end your life nobody would miss you, shit they would be happy to finally live at peace, you are worthless, nothing to anyone and I just helped you see that..." he said. I just hung up the phone and ran into the bathroom and threw it in the toilet.
I looked at myself in the mirror sobbing, my eyes were puffy and red. He was right, I'm just a burden to my family, I'm good for nothing. My family won't say anything because they feel like they have to walk around eggshells around me because I'm 'fragile'. He's so right I should just end my misery here. I won't feel fear, pain, anger, and heartbreak anymore. I'll feel...numb and that's all I want.
I pulled out a cabinet and took out a bottle of pills. Ibuprofen, it's a little less than halfway done, this should be enough to make my weak heart stop and leave this horrible earth. I grabbed a cup of water and went to my bed. I swallowed all 7 pills and laid in my bed crying and soon my eyes started to feel weak and my eyelids were closing in on me. This was it. I was letting myself go, it was the best thing I could do for myself and for my family. They don't deserve a daughter like me, they deserve better. I felt myself drift to sleep knowing I was not going to wake up.
I shot up and gasped. I couldn't breath, I was covered in sweat and started to sob. The last time I had this nightmare was so long ago. But this one felt so real. "Oh my god" I sobbed with my hand on my mouth. I didn't notice that Ivan had been trying to wake me up until he was looking at me trying to catch my attention. "hey , hey, hey it's okay I'm here, it was just a nightmare." he said and I hugged him. I just need to feel him, feel his body heat and know he is here with me.
I started to feel this nausea feeling, God not again. I let go of Ivan's embrace and ran into the bathroom and threw up in the toilet while Ivan ran following behind me and held my hair up once he had reached me. When I finished I flushed and walked to the sink and ran water in my mouth and washed my teeth to get rid of the taste.
"Charlotte..." Ivan said holding onto me and then placing his hand on my stomach when I turned around, he looked at me. Wait, he thinks I'm pregnant? He does! "I'm not pregnant" I said and he looked at me, "are you sure?" he said and I nodded. "Yes, one I'm on the pill and-" I started and then Ivan cut me off, "sometimes the pills don't work" he said. "I'm not pregnant because I'm taking the pill and two I always throw up after I have that dream" I said to him and he lifted his eyebrow at me. "What was the dream?" he asked me and I just hugged him I pulled away after a couple of minutes and blinked the tears away from my eyes. "Um, it was a flashback of the night I tried to... you know, I don't want to talk about it" I said closing my eyes and opening and he just sent me a sad smile and nodded and he didn't push me to say anymore. We walked back into the room and I looked at the time it was 7:30 am so I figured I could get a workout in before going to the company so I walked into the closet and put on some leggings and a sports bra. I put my hair in a ponytail and headed downstairs while Ivan was in the bathroom.
I have been working out for 15 minutes on the treadmill. I was running well jogging trying to strengthen my heart so that I could get better. I looked up and saw that Ivan was standing on the steps and was looking at me. When the fuck did he get here I didn't even hear him. That must be because I have music playing loud, not blasting because I'm conscious that others are sleeping right now. "What time is brunch with your family?" I asked him mostly out of breath. He looked at me and smirked, "it's um lunch now, I remembered we have to go to the company and its at 12" he said looking me up and down admiring my body. When he reached my eyes I smiled. "Okay I'm going to workout for... another 30 minutes and... I'll get ready to leave for the office, ok?" I said and walked over to the treadmill and looked at me. "15 minutes and no more, don't push yourself, love" he said and I nodded in disagreement. "Nope I haven't worked out in a while I need to get back in shape-" I explained and then was cut off "15 minutes Charlotte I'm not kidding" he said and started to walk away. Okay damn Mr. Bossy.
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***Charlottes Outfit***
After 20 minutes I stopped working out and went to shower. After showering I put on some silk snake print shorts with a white shirt and a white blazer over the top and some White wedge heels and my beige bag. I did a natural makeup look and started to walk downstairs to the dining table which had two plates of food. I walked in and saw a woman serving. She looks like a maid. "I uh good morning" I said and looked at her confused. "Good Morning Ms. Carter I'm Marta I'm the housekeeper and chef, if you need anything let me know" she said and I smiled and nodded at her. I saw Ivan walk in and kiss me. He sat across from me and we started to eat the bagels that were made for us and I ate the bowl next to them which was full of strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, honestly all the berries. I knew that Ivan asked Marta to give me berries because they help with strengthening the heart muscle. I love how thoughtful he is. After we finished eating he got up and came back with a cup of water and my bottle of pills. I looked up at him and rolled my eyes and exhaled deeply. "I'm not 5 years old I can manage to take my own pills, Ivan" I said and he kissed the top of my head. "Sure, I just want to make sure you are taking them," he said and I nodded slightly. I drank my pills and we were off to work.
