I'll Run to You // Awsten Knight

Chapter 30-Clearly Not Over It

November 16th, 2017

Awsten has been home for a few days, but the teasing never stopped. He kept getting asked questions like 'So, when's the proposal?' or 'Is this another girl to make an entire album for again?' He knew they were just jokes, but were not funny at all. Especially when he got asked that last question. It sounded like they were trying to make fun of his last relationship and his music, even if it wasn't intentional.

 Travis and Awsten were walking through a small neighborhood together, one they walked through before the tour. It was a nice way to relax, clear their heads, or for them or to catch up on things that have been happening.

Travis looked down, a ring on Awsten's hand caught his eye. "Awsten?" he asked.

"Yeah?" Awsten responded, unsure why Travis looked so confused.

"Why are you still wearing that ring she gave you? Does Hope know about it?"

Awsten then realized what he was talking about, it was the ring Ciara gave him when they were together. Before she did what broke them up, ripped Awsten's heart apart, why he questioned himself every day if he was ready to date again.

All Awsten did was shake his head quickly as a 'no'.

"Then why are you still wearing it?" Travis' tone was quiet, trying his best not to upset Awsten, but the topic did nonetheless.

"Because, Travis," Awsten said defensively. "It looks like I'm clearly not over it. Do you think that breakup was easy for me? You remember what she did."

"How could I forget," Travis said, his head down, looking at the concrete sidewalk.

"Then don't fucking question this. I didn't wear it in front of Hope, I don't want her thinking I would rather be with Ciara than her, because that's not true, it'll never be true. I want to be with Hope, I'm literally the luckiest guy to live right now, but it doesn't mean I can move on from the breakup like a snap. I'm over...her...but I'm not over the breakup." Awsten paused for a second, realizing that he should stop reacting so defensively. "Does that make sense?"

"It completely does make sense."

"Now everyone, regardless of who they think is in the wrong, is trying to interfere with this and my life. Some people are calling me the liar, that I was the one that cheated on her, but those are complete lies. But I know I have no proof but my own words and memory, and nobody saw or heard what happened that day. There's always going to be people that don't believe me, but in this specific situation...I don't even know what to say." With all the expressions that Awsten was showing, you could clearly see he was getting overwhelmed. So overwhelmed that he just wanted to stay in his room alone for hours.

"Is there anything else you need to say?"

Awsten didn't hesitate to respond, "I have never been so scared to be broken up with in my life than I am right now...you know, can we just talk about something else?"

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it some more?" Travis questioned.

"Yeah, I'm going to get a therapist soon, so I can bother them with my shit instead of you guys." Awsten starts walking a little slower than he has.

"Dude, you're not bothering us, you need to talk about things that's bothering you. It's not right to keep your emotions about everything in when you need to talk about it."

Awsten laughed, "How the hell are you so smart?"