I'll Run to You // Awsten Knight

Chapter 51 - Aussie

January 29th, 2018

"Oh my god!" Awsten exclaimed, his voice carrying through the bus.

"Awsten," Otto started. "It's a fucking lake," he laughed at his friend's amazement.

"Yeah, well I haven't seen one this big in a while. Not to mention this whole continent is beautiful." He added.

"It's a death trap," Otto countered. 

Awsten gave his friend a look of disapproval. "Yeah, there are huge spiders and snakes and angry ass kangaroos," he explained as if his worries were nothing. "But man, you gotta look past that right now, Australia is gorgeous. And we won't have to worry about those, we'll be on and off stage in no time, getting food, and being in here."

Geoff poked his head out of the bathroom, pulled the toothbrush out of his mouth, and said "Don't forget we have that interview with what's their name."

"Don't Bore Us," Awsten corrected.

Geoff gave him a quick nod and continued to brushing his teeth. After that, the room was silent. Otto had thought to ask I'm surprised you're so happy after everything that went down a couple days ago, but the outcome of that could've been worse than he could imagine, so he kept his mouth shut.

In all honesty, nobody knew how Awsten was feeling, he said he's a "professional" at keeping his emotions to himself, and he wasn't lying. Nobody could tell if he was hurting at that moment or not.

Otto wouldn't consider himself a big worrier, but he couldn't help but be curious. What was going to happen during the other shows? They still had the European tour, UK tour, and American tour, all while Hope was too.

Some venues were too close for comfort for him on the exact same nights, but it  couldn't have been Hope's fault, she was given a place and a time and that was all.

Geoff, on the other hand, didn't want to bother Awsten about it, it was his own problem and if he wanted to talk about it, he would. He trusted him like that, if a situation like that was hurting him so bad, he'd ask for help from someone.

Awsten truly was distracted though, he loved the view as they drove on a bridge over the lake he was just talking about, the sun shining off of it and almost blinding him.

But the night before was a whole different story, they were on the plane seated by each other, and Awsten had the aisle seat. He kept checking on Hope's social medias and his messages to see if anything new from her came up, but nothing did other than a story post saying she couldn't wait to see her fans on tour again and be performing at stadiums.

He could never imagine Hope liking the flashy lifestyle of a celebrity, but everyone had to get used to it at some point, right? She already basically had paparazzi at her front door step for years, there was no way she wasn't used to it, but nobody had to like it.

There was a tug at his heart and he remembered how much they used to talk to each other when they had long plane rides, it was the only thing that kept them from sleeping, in fear of missing a message from the other.

He even almost cried on the plane, but he fought it off almost the whole time, evidently falling asleep was the only thing that truly kept him from feeling any of the pain.

An idiot was an understatement to how he felt.

If the word 'humiliated' could be multiplied by 2 and add ten times of idiot, that would equal how he felt.

//

"Do we have any plans for food?" Awsten questioned as they all walked down a busy street.

They officially arrived in Perth roughly an hour ago, and Awsten was nothing short of amazed. He wasn't the type to go crazy over the city, but the day was too beautiful not to notice the shining buildings.

Everyone shared a look at Lucas, who seemed to be intimidated, it was strange for him to act like that, but everyone was on edge. "Well," he finally said. "I was kind of hoping we just picked a small place around to eat, nothing was really planned out for today. Management thought we weren't going to get here until well into the night."

Awsten let out an airy laugh through his nose, though it didn't contain any humor.

"Are we going to address the elephant in the room or let this situation choke us to death before the first show? Because we all know it'll be worse then anyway." Otto had enough of the silence, and usually Awsten would be the one to break it.

"I don't get why this has to be a huge deal for everyone." Awsten stops walking after he finishes speaking.

"Awsten, you were wrongly accused of cheating and left, when were you ever going to talk to one of us about this?" Otto spat. Everyone stopped walking at that moment.

There were a thousand petty things that came to Awsten's mind for him to say, but he knew it wasn't right so he held his tongue on them. "I haven't felt like it."

Silence again.

Geoff sighed, and tried clearing the mood with hugging Awsten as tightly as was fit. His friend returned it.

"I just want to leave all of this behind, but I can't. I can't tell what I'm feeling, I've been masking my emotions for not even that long and I'm already breaking down," Awsten laughed, wiping the tears from his face before more could fall onto Geoff's shoulder. They broke away and he kept talking, "I know I should think that it's her loss and it wasn't healthy from the start if my thoughts are immediately that we just liked each other for accessory... but I can't let it go. I just can't."

"Let's head back," Geoff suggested, resting his hand on Awsten's shoulder. "We can just order some food and talk, to all of us if you want, if not, I'll listen to everything."

Awsten was lucky to have the friends he did, even if Otto got defensive, he knew it was with a good heart. Nobody likes to see their friend hurting; after all that Awsten's went through, everyone knew that he was hiding.