Chapter 36: No Things Such As Secrets
(Caia's POV)
After what happened yesterday, hindi ko na alam pa ang gagawin sa buhay ko. Saturday kahapon at Sunday ngayon. Ma'am Ericka's with me, as usual nanonood na naman kami. Like seriously? 'Yan lang ang ginagawa niya dito. An oh, I wasn't wearing my pretty disguise today. I feel free. I am Caia today but nothing's different. Still a cold one.
"Hey, ito lang ba ang gagawin natin maghapon?" Tanong ko kay ma'am Ericka.
"Why? Had any other plans? Maganda naman ang palabas. Kaya nga nanonood ako dito palagi eh." Sabi ni ma'am Ericka. Didn't even glance at me.
"Tss, don't you have tv? Pupunta ka lang dito para manood?" Sabi ko sa kaniya. Tinignan naman niya ako.
"I have no time for that. Hello? Isa akong teacher. Pumupunta ako dito para na rin makatakas sa pagod. Hindi ba ako welcome?" Ayst. Nakuha pang magdrama.
"Hell, if you, coming here at 3 am in the morning, opening the door using your duplicate then pretend to be a kidnapper without me kicking you out of the house isn't called welcome, then what is it?" Tumawa siya ng marinig 'yon. Tss. Well, yea. She did that at muntik na siyang mamatay sa katatawa kahit na wala akong reaksyon sa ginawa niya. Wala lang daw. Natawa lang siya sa ginawa niya. Eh hindi pa nga siya nakakapasok sa kuwarto ko ay naririnig ko na ang mahina niyang pagtawa.
"Isn't it cool? Kundi ka lang kj at naki-ride sa trip ko, edi sana mas masaya." Sabi niya at tumawa. I just rolled my eyes on her. Isip bata. "Teka lang, ah? I feel like bathing eh. I'll take a shower." Sabi niya sakin at tumayo. Katatapos lang namin kumain ah? And naligo naman siya kaninang umaga. It's not even summer and hindi naman hot dito since centralized itong bahay. Tss.
Umakyat na siya sa taas samantalang ako ay nanatiling nakahiga sa couch. I wish I could change this sofa. Maganda naman siya but I want bigger than this. Although, sobrang laki na niya. Aish, whatever. It's just sofa bed siya. Pero gusto kong maglagay ng bed dito sa sala, or maybe sa entertainment room ko na lang? So that I can watch movies alone. Hmm, I'll think of that. Pag-iipunan ko na lang. Ay, I found my credit cards sa taas. Marami na pala akong savings. And ipinamana pala sakin ni Dad lahat ng ari-arian niya. Pero hindi ko naman ito ginalaw. So I'm rich? Nah. Kailangan ko pa ring magtrabaho para makaipon ako. Hindi mo alam kung kailan mauubos ang pera kaya kailangang magready. Should I start enterpreneurship? Hayst. 'Di ko alam kung kaya kong ihandle ang mga ganun. But I'll try.
Nilipat ko 'yung channel ng tv. Cause it's boring puro drama na lang. Those freaking love stories! So unbelievable! Pathetic dramas. Like, there's no real people who's gonna sacrifice themselve just for someone they love. Duh, just move on! If he/she doesn't like you, let go! That's their loss not yours. Gawd! What am I even thinking? Anyway, nanood na lang ako ng something more interesting than lovelife.
Maya-maya ay nakarinig ako ng ingay sa gate. Tumayo ako upang icheck ito. Grabe, tanghaling tap---
"Caia?" Oh crap. Why did I forget that I'm not wearing my disguise today?! She immediately run towards me and welcomed me with a hug. Hindi niya pinansin 'yung plastic bag na nalaglag niya nang makita ako. I can't find the words to say. Or rather, I don't know what to say. Nanatili akong nakatayo."Akala ko hindi na ako magugulat." She said. What does she mean?
"What are you saying?" Tanong ko sa kaniya. Hindi pa rin siya bumibitaw sa yakap.
"You're---" Naputol ang sasabihin ni Red ng may nagsalita sa likuran namin.
"Oh, what's the title of that drama?" Sabi nima'am Ericka. I looked at her like nothing's happening. Bumitaw na rin si Red sa pagkakayakap sakin. Hindi ko pa rin alam ang gagawin ko. Should I tell her the truth? If not, I'm going to lie again. I don't know why. But ever since naging friend ko ulit siya, it feels like I wanted to protect her. At ayokong ako mismo ang manakit sa kaniya. I already hurt her too muh ng mawala ako. I hurt her again ng magkita kaming muli na ako si Corin. And now? I don't want to hurt her again. I'm already numb dahil sa sobrang sakit ng mga naranasan ko. Now that I'm starting over again, panibagong pagsubok na naman. Can't you just give me a break? I can't handle things like this. I always believe that I'm okay. That I'm independent. But truth to be told, I'm not. First, I can't remember anything. I feel lonely and I feel like I'm so miserable. Second, I don't know my mom. Like who is she, what did she look like, and where is she. The third is my dad's dead. I don't know what to feel. It's like what happened? I'm so hopeless. Fourth, I left everything that made me. I had no power. I left all of my friends there. I left someone who help me to rebuild my self. Now what? Another problem again?
