There was nothing that could ruin this euphoria she felt. He was the perfect first boyfriend. The perfect boyfriend.
Boyfriends / They think you're so easy / They take you for granted / They don't know / They're just misunderstanding you / You're back at it again
It started out just as any other relationship did. They met in college. He lived in the same dorm as her and their circles of friends intersected every so often. He told funny jokes that made her giggle from afar. When he heard that giggle and he answered with a sweet smile, she was done for. But for her entire life, she was never the girl boys flirted with; that was always her friends who knew way better how boys operated than she did. It was hard to believe anyone would even look her way when her whole life was spent being looked over.
But that smile...
How could she not hope?
It took some time, but she realized he was smiling at her. He was flirting with her. Her heart was a mess. Her poor friend was subject to so many questions. Questions she felt should have been answered back in elementary school let alone high school. There were so many things she didn't know how to do. Like how do you hold a guy's hand? How do you kiss one? What do you feed it?
When he finally asked her out on a date, he gave her hand a squeeze as they walked back from her class—where he met her after his class let out.
"You're a natural," he said softly in her ear. He could sense her distrust in herself. The anxiety about the situation rolled off her in waves. His hand squeezed hers and he smiled kindly at her.
"I've always been a fast learner," she joked but he didn't miss the blush that covered her cheeks.
"That doesn't surprise me," he said to her.
She confided in her friend that she was terrified. "What twenty-year old doesn't know how to kiss?" She asked her as they got her ready for their first official date.
"If you're really that nervous, I'll show you," she joked. She rolled her eyes.
"Give me one more week and I'll take you up on that," she muttered.
"Look," her friend was looking at her in the mirror. "If he's worthy of you, he's not going to give one care in the world," she said knowingly. "Remember that please. He's got to be worthy of you," she reminded him. "No matter how dreamy he is or how much you like him, I honestly don't care; if he doesn't treat you well, I will literally murder him," it sounded like a promise. She felt she had no choice but to believe her best friend.
"I feel like I won't be good enough."
"Girl," she shook her head. "You're going to be way better."
She wished she believed that was true.
She really wished she believed it when it was true.
*
They talked about their families and their hometown friends. He told her about his plans when he graduated at the end of the next year, and he asked her how much longer she had before she would be off to her next adventure. He was one year ahead of her, but she was a year ahead of all her friends who arrived at the same time. He decided she was much too smart for him but he didn't care. He told her he loved her giggle and he held her hand while they waited for the waiter to cash out their check. It was warm and natural. She didn't feel awkward.
Because the spring weather was just arriving, they walked back to their dorm taking an extra lap around campus. They held hands, told jokes, chatted more and more until her feet were sore and she reminded him she had a test the next morning.
