PHONOPHOBIA: is an intense fear of noise, which can include loud sounds, voices, and your own voice.
Y/N isn't really sure when it happened, she doesn't know if it was when she cried at five years old when her mom and dad yelled in front of her, or when at twelve she wanted to scratch her face in despair when she saw how her best friend's mother inflated a balloon too much on her birthday.
She's not sure, but she curses that day every single day of her life.
But she does remember when at the age of fifteen she had an anxiety attack listening to a rock album that her brother recommended, and how her mother got so worried that she sent her to therapy.
Now she's twenty five and has learned to live with it, but unfortunately it has affected her social circle as it's rare that someone wants to be around a person who is afraid of fucking sound.
Come on, she can't even speak out loud that she may already start crying!
The last time she had a boyfriend was at nineteen, and she remains in the same social circle of just one friend and that's it. She's sad, lonely, and the only thing she can hear at high volume are slow, quiet songs that leave her wanting for more.
She wants to scream to a heavy song, she wants to jump and have her eardrums screech at a concert, she wants to be exalted without leading to a mild anxiety attack, she wants to be normal.
So when her best and only friend named Sarah introduces her the rest of the band that she plays in, Y/N feels like she took a breath of fresh air.
They were all so kind and friendly, some quieter than others (like Mitch), but she had taken a unique liking for the famous lead singer.
Of course she knew who Harry Styles was, and she had listened to some of the One Direction songs when she was younger. Her favorite songs were the quiet ones, the noisy ones? she had to listen to them at a low volume so she didn't get scared.
The first time he saw her, Harry felt something he had never felt in his life, as if everything he went through didn't matter at all compared to that moment and that his place was there with her. She was so beautiful, and when he got to know her, he knew that her exterior didn't compare at all with the kind soul and heart that she had inside.
He remembers the first time he found out, it was their third date and he had picked her up to take her to a bar where a band would play. Like the gentleman that he is, he opened the door of his Range Rover for her and told her that she looked gorgeous, and between talks they arrived at the place.
She thanked for the raised windows that covered the noise of that bar. But that didn't stop her fingernails from digging into her thighs.
"Okay, here it is." Harry said, turning off the car and turning his head to look at Y/N. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, just.." She started, avoiding his gaze. "God, this is embarrassing."
The brunette quickly takes one of her hands that were hurting her, and gently caresses it with his thumb.
"None of that, if we really want this then we must tell each other everything, love." He whispered over the loud music "Please, talk to me."
Y/N took a frightened breath, she knew Harry was so good and sweet that he wouldn't say anything to her, but the fear was always there after all.
"When I was fifteen... I was diagnosed with Phonophobia." She whispered, and kept talking when she saw the confusion on Harry's face. "That means I have a phobia of loud sounds, even my own voice." She stared into his eyes, searching for something to tell her he was upset, but found nothing. "I can't go into places with loud music, I can't be in a noisy crowd, I can't go to a concert, Harry, I can't do anything that someone my age should."
