Depression

The day part 3 (last part of this bit )

Atsushis pov :
He walked into his house trying to get some rest because it was late.
He brushed his teeth and is now just starting at himself in the mirror in disgust.
'YOU KNOW YOU DONT DESERVE TO LIVE SO WHY SHOULD YOU DESERVE FOOD OR A GOKD NIGHT SLEEP HUH?'
'I don't know'
'WHAT WAS THAT I DIDNT HEAR YOU?'
'I DONT KNOW? ok'
'GOOD NOW YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU SHOULD ALWAYS LISTEN TO ME AND YOUR NEVER FEEL GREATER
SO DO SOMETHING FOR ME YEAH?'
'What is it?'
'VOMIT'
'What?'
'YOU HEARD ME VOMIT, THROW UP,PUKE ANYTHING JUST GET TE FOOD OUT OF YOU BECAUSE YOU DONT DESERVE IT!'
Atsushi is now on the floor crying his eyes out trying to get the voice to go away.
'DO THIS.AND ILL GO AWAY'

⚠️trigger warning⚠️
After that Atsushi crawled over to the toilet sticking his head over the side.
He raises two fingers and shoves them down his throat.
He repeated this action till he threw up everything he ate that day.
Once he was done he cleaned up and once again stood there staring at himself trying to think of what he had just done.
'HOW DO YOU FEEL?'
'Empty'
'DO YOU LIKE IT?'
He thought for a few minutes before responding
'Yes'
He turned the light off and went to bed with the voice no where to be heard.

Next morning
Dazais pov:
He was still confused of Atsushis behaviour yesterday so he couldn't wait to see him today to lift the mood a little.
He gets up and heads straight to work because he was late as always.

Atsushis pov :
He wakes up earlie to his stomach tumbling for some food.
'NO DONT GET ANYTHING YOU DONT NEED IT UNLESS YPU WANT TO GET FAT AND YOU DON'T RIGHT?'
'No I don't'
So he ignores the feeling and heads to work to get a move on the day ahead.
At the agency
Atsushis pov still :
He walks in saying hellos and good morning to all the people he sees.
"Your in a good mood today Atsushi"
"Yes Yasano I guess I am"
He was feeling good because he was feeling the hunger working its way through his body.
He knows he shouldn't but he loves the feeling of it taking over and him destroying it.
Time skip to the end of the day :
He gets home from quite a boring day actually he only sat at his desk finishing reports he had missed.
He sat on his coach on his phone scrolling throught social media.
He stopped and stared at this picture of a guy who had loads of muscles and was supper skinny.
It made his feel horrible about himself.
'YOU DONT LOOK ANYTHING LIKE THAT YOUR PATHETIC'
'Yeah what should I do'
'THROW UP ALL THE WATER YOUVE DRANK TODAY THATS WHATS MAKING YOU LOOK FAT'
'Ok'

⚠️trigger warning⚠️
He gets off his coach and heads to the bathroom.
He leans over the toilet sticking two fingers down his throat gagging till he was sick.
He hated this part but the result was worth it.
Or so he thought.
He had just finished and was now cleaning his hands when he noticed the two fingers he had used were bright red so he checked his throat in the mirror and that was red to.
He wasn't surprised though.
He was then startled by a loud knock on the door.
He left the bathroom leaving a bloody finger print on the toilet bowl from where he had scratched his throat and then placed his hand on the edge for support.
He opened the door reviling Dazai,Chuuya and Aktugawa the last two from the port Mafia.
They pushed past his leaving him at the door.
He turned around to see them all laying down looking rather tired.
"You guys ok over there?"