Depression

All your fault

Atsushis pov :
People were getting thrown around.
Dead and injured bodied every where.
It made Atsushi feel sick just being there.
"Over here !"
The agency turned to see the survivors of the Mafia behind a massive rock of broken concrete .
Chuuya called them over to the sheltered area and explained the plan .
Atsushi and Aktuagawa are gonna do the team up move thing whilst the rest get fr behind.
Atsushi was hesitant but knew everyone was counting on him so he said ok.
And the back up plan was chuuya using corruption because it could possibly hurt chuuya.
"Jinko come on"
Aktugawa called Atsushi over and they rn out in front of the criminal and started with small attacks to just get him on them.
But it didn't work out so well the criminal must have known and tried to kill them both just as they stepped out .
Atsushi used his full ability and teamed up with Aktugawa who was also using his full ability they were getting somewhere and the others were nearly able to complete the plan.
But Atsushis full body became weak and full of pain his ability slowly draining away as the fight got stronger.
He was starting to lose momentum and his ears were ringing.
He fell to the floor but the last thing he saw was Aktugawa get thrown into the wall.
Next day
Atsushis pov :
He woke up with a massive headache and he was so tired.
"Ah Atsushi your awake do you remember anything from yesterday?" Dr Yasano says walking in with a clipboard in her hands.
"Umm yes we were in battle and I passed out I think and then Aktug-OMG is he ok he was thrown to the wall is everyone ok forget about me"
"Atsushi calm down he's fine and so is everyone else from our group ok you need rest"
Just then Atsushis stomach rumbled.
"Do you want some food Atsushi you haven't eaten since yesterday and I'm pretty sure you passed out from exhaustion and low nutrition"
He paused and let the voice tell him what to do.
'EAT SOMETHING TO PLEASE HER BUT DONT LEAVE IT INSIDE YOU GO IT?'
'yes got it'
"Yeah ok thank you"
She came back a few minutes later with an apple and some water.
But she also sat and watched Atsushi eat it which was weird but he let it go.
"Ok you can go now Atsushi and the president wanted me to tell you you can go home and if your up to it see you tomorrow yeah"
"Yeah ok see what Yasano"
After that he went home.
At Atsushis house :
He got in and immediately jump on the coach he was still so tired and walking home didn't help at all.
He was about to go to the bathroom to empty himself but he got a phone call from Aktugawa.
"Hello?"
"YES HELLO JINKO I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW BECAUSE YOU PASSED OUT I ENDED UP BREALING MY ARM AND NOW I CANT DO ANYTHING FOR 6 WEEKS SO I WANTED TO TJANK YOU FOR BEING SO USELESS YU DIDNT EVEN FIGJT FOR AN HOUR AND YOU FELL FUCKING ASLEEP SO HAVE A GIID DAY JINKO!"
"Sniffle"
"Jinko are you crying?"
"Jink-"
Atsushi ended the call now balling his eyes out chucking his phone across the room then running to the bathroom locking the door even though he was the only one there.

⚠️trigger warning⚠️
He sits down Infront of the toilet and shoved two fingers down his throat with no hesitation.
Gagging over and over and throwing up but it still wasn't enough.
Aktugawa was right he couldn't do anything and was completely useless.
He was leaning on the bathroom wall when the light reflected something causing it to shine in his eyes.
He stopped crying as hard and walked over to the shining thing.
He reached out to grab it to find a razor blade he forgot to put away from shaving last night.
He sat there staring at it thinking if he wanted to go that far.
'DO IT YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO AND YOU ALSO KNOW YOU-'
'Deserve it  I know'
So he picks it up again and breaks it revealing the shiny blade.
He held it up to the light then brought it to his left wrist placing it there before pressing down as hard as he could sliding it across.
The feeling of the blade going across and the blood dripping was excellent no he loved it.
He continued doing this till there was no more room on the left then moving to the right and that continued till his arms, legs and torso was covered in cuts.
He stood there letting it drip down onto the floor not caring about cleaning up.
He chucks the blade in the sink not letting it go down the drain then hopping in the showers.
He hops in and turns it on to the hottest setting.
His entire body was on fire and in so much pain but he liked it so he stood there letting the water turn red like a nice wine colour.
He gets out the shower and bandages everything up.
He goes to his bedroom and passes out.
⚠️tw over⚠️