This boy next to my room

44

June

"Look there are dolphins!" Tyler exclaims as he points his index finger energetically out to sea. I focus on this one, and indeed there are two dolphins swimming by. It makes me smile.

Honestly, we look like two kids completely obsessed with marine animals but it's so good to go back in childhood sometimes.

I'm leaning against the front railing of the boat. It's like being in the Titanic, it's so high, I even feel dizzy.

Talking about the Titanic, I signal to my companion to follow me and I stand on the point that forms the beginning of the boat, like in the movie. I dreamed of reproducing this scene when I was young.

I put one foot on the bar forming the lowest railing and invite Tyler to come behind me. He understands quickly what I want to do because he positions himself like Jack and places his hands on my hips.

"We are free.." I exclaim with a laugh.

He also laughs before starting to tickle me, I explode with laughter and in a fast and uncontrolled gesture, I let myself go backwards and we crash brutally on the ground.

We continue to laugh.

However, something deep inside me leaves me perplexed and unsettled. I love Tyler dearly but when he puts those hands on me, I don't feel that same electric thing and that same consuming burn on my skin. Only Connor makes me feel that way, I'd be lying if I say it don't scare me.

Because it does.

I want to feel that with Tyler.
Not with Connor.

We remain outside to laugh like kids until the sun goes down then that the rain which was so desperate at the reformatory suddenly resurfaces.

When we got back, the guards announced us the dinner, which was delicious by the way, before ordering us back to our rooms.

I hesitated a lot to ask to change it but finally, I don't mind so much to be with Connor.

Not that I like to have it both ways and to say that would be really silly because I'm only attracted to him physically, but I find that he's not that hard to live with, I've been used to him for a long time now and if the worst comes I'll just ignore him.

When I go inside, the darkness surprises me. Is he not there? I close the door behind me and turn on the light. My heart nearly bursts out of my rib cage when I see the male figure of my roommate sitting on the bed, staring at me with those cold black eyes.

"Fuck.. Don't ever do that again, I almost had a heart attack." I sigh, theatrically putting my hand on my chest.

He looks away without bothering to answer me. I ignore him then I settle down on my bed by depositing my telephone on the bedside table beside it.

After that, I lie down on the side where I can see him, he is still sitting and strangely he doesn't say anything. Is it because of what happened earlier?

"About earlier... I..." I start before I get cut off.

"Have you ever been in love ?"

I frown in surprise. Is this a joke or is he really serious ?

Connor talking about love?

"Uh... Maybe, I have no idea, why you're asking me that anyways ?" I answer confused.

He doesn't answer, as he regrets asking me that. I keep looking at him hoping that he will deepen his question but still nothing, maybe behind this heart of stone is hiding someone good or at least someone who wants to love ?

"You have been before, haven't you ? Your ex, the one I stole the room at the reformatory." I add.

"Yeah.. But now it's over."

"Are you sure about that ? Because you didn't look too happy about me taking her room, like you still cared about her." His dark eyes meet mine right after I say that.

"I don't care about her, not anymore. When you came in I might have still had some feelings for her, I don't anymore."

"Then why did you ask me that question ?"