MY Yesterday and Forever

11 - No Regrets

You lay on your bed worrying when a light tap on your door came. You open it and you're surprised to see your grandmother crying. Your concern surfaces immediately and before you can even ask what's wrong, she hugs you.

"My poor grandchild, my poor poor grandchild." She says over and over. 

"Grandma, please stop crying. It's not good for you." You tell her as you rub her back. "I'm ok. Don't worry about me. I'm a big girl and I'm strong. I can take whatever they tell me." But not to Yoongi, you do not say that out loud of course.

She shakes her head. "Everyone has a weakness. I see yours is that boy. He is the one we've talked about before right?" Your grandmother just read what you had in your mind. So you nod in reply. "You never answered back to your father except today. He has a lot of shortcomings to you and your sister. I am sorry for that, I should have intervened when he married Eun-Sil, but your grandfather stopped me. No one can stop me now so I will act upon it. Let me start by saying if you want to go see him now, then go. I am embarrassed to even think how awful my son and his wife had been to him. Tell him I am sending my apologies."

"Grandma, it's not your fault." You say as you pull back from her wiping her tears away. She's not supposed to be upset because of her heart problem so you try your best to convince her you're fine.

"It is my fault.  I am his mother and I didn't discipline him enough for him to treat other people that way." She said. She gently touched your cheek and said. "Go find that boy, don't worry about your father and your aunt, I'll handle it."

"It's not good for you to be stressed out like this Grandma." You remind her.

She smiles at you. "I am stronger than I look even though I am an old lady. My heart is not that weak either. It's your heart that you need to worry about."

***********************

You're grateful to what your grandmother did for you.  She didn't stop telling you to leave and find Yoongi until you were at the door. Her words about worrying about your heart sticks in your mind. Even if you get to fix this mess Yoongi, the fact still remains that you're leaving soon. 

Yoongi is not home just as Hoseok told your cousin earlier. You decide to sit at the wooden bed and wait. Your heart jumps when your phone rings because you were hoping that it's Yoongi. It's your sister asking how you were. Her twin senses must've set an alarm which is why she called. This connection that you have is not new anymore, you can always tell when someone is not in a good shape whether physically or emotionally.  

Of course, she is mad over what happened, she almost bought a ticket just to be with you. But you remind her that you're leaving in two days and your grandmother is helping you too, so she calms down.

Two days, the thought comes back again. After this day, you only have one day left. You can't help feeling sad. He said they'll make it work but you have to be realistic too. With the turn out of things, it's very unlikely you'd be sent back here again by you dad. It's not fair to keep him in a relationship with no assurance of when you'll be coming back.

*****************

The afternoon breeze made you fall asleep as you waited. By the time you wake up, it's already dark. You're startled to see an outline of a person sitting right across from you. You immediately sit up before you realized it's Yoongi. Relief floods into your whole body. 

"Why are you here?" He asks. You didn't miss the smell of the alcohol from his breath. "I don't want your father or your aunt coming here with the police so they can accuse me of heaven knows what." His speech is slightly slurring.