MY Yesterday and Forever

40 - Dejected

You waited for Dylan to come back but dawn came and there were no signs of him. Sleep had eluded you because of everything that had happened. The pain that you're feeling is beyond words as you think about Yoongi and Dylan. In just one night, you hurt both of them.

You thought of how Dylan looked so excited when he was talking about the room he got before things went out of hand. Maybe if you didn't react the way you did, then he wouldn't have walked out on you. You thought of how you and Yoongi have started the day yesterday before the press conference. You've concluded that you're a horrible person because of what you've done to the men you love. That sounds even crazier, how can you love two of them at the same time?

You decide to call your twin even if you know it's 2 am back home. She answers on the first ring.

"You beat me in calling you. What's wrong?" She spoke. Hearing your sister's voice is a great comfort for you so you set your emotions free. The tears you've been holding back start coming out and your body shakes as you let out all the hurt and rage you feel inside yourself. 

"Damn it Y/N, let's not be going through this again. I hate it when you fall apart like that. You're a strong person and you do not break down easily. Is it Yoongi? You were exactly like that years ago." Kylee clucks her tongue as she listens to you cry. Little by little you managed to tell her the whole story. 

"So, Dylan left and didn't come back? Where is he then? Isn't that weird? That room is quite pricy." Kylee remarks. You realize that your sister has a point. Knowing your fiancée, he likes basking in the luxury he got. You were too busy thinking about everything you forgot about that. From the text messages he was sending while you were having dinner until his body not responding to you, that was very off. 

"Honey, listen to me, the way I see it is that Dylan is quite defensive because he is doing something behind your back too. Don't get too hard on yourself. I think you may have hurt Yoongi but Dylan, I don't know. Please stop saying you are a horrible person because you are not." Kylee comforts you. 

"It's my fault." You replied.

"Stop overthinking. You have no control over how destiny makes it turns. Now go get some rest, you'll need it. With all the crying you've done I'm sure your eyes have gone too puffy now." Your twin is right, your eyes swell so much when you cry.

You send Dylan a message saying that you're sorry and you already left for work. 

The sky is still gray as you walk down the streets of New York. Your hotel is too close for a cab, but the walk will be quite long.  You're scared to walk alone but you have no choice but to do it anyway. You're wearing a thin cardigan that you wrap around your body as you walked. You hold the bag you brought with you firmly in your hand and you keep your head low. Your head hurts, your eye stings and your chest feels heavy. You manage to reach the hotel safely and you let out a sigh of relief as soon as you enter the doors. A handful of people were in the lobby, and they barely look your way as you head to your room.

You do not know what to expect as you exit the elevator. You wonder if Yoongi will be in the room. You hold your breath as you enter and to your disappointment, he isn't there. That made you feel sad as you throw a glance at the spot where he was standing when you left. You soak in the tub where you continue to cry before going to bed just as the sun has risen. You felt so alone as you lay on the bed you've been sharing with Yoongi, missing his arms around you.

No text from either Dylan or Yoongi came. The only message you got was from Jay telling you that you need to be ready by three, you still have two hours left. Your eyes look horrible even if you applied makeup on and you top it off with your eyeglasses. You leave your hair down, so it'll somehow cover your face too. Yoongi will be interviewed by a magazine after rehearsals, so they need you for that.