On The Thin Ice

Chapter 25

"I'm not saying these para makipag argue sa'yo, Ma'am. I want you to become aware na mali ang ginagawa mo. I don't want to invalidate my own feelings just because I protect yours, that's why I become honest now. We're not kids, Ma'am, we're old enough to understand a lot of things."

"If somethings bothering you, say how you feel, don't keep it with yourself kasi may tao namang handang makinig sa'yo at intindihin ka. I will work on fixing the problem with you, kasi ayaw ko ng ganito, Ragel." mahinang sabi ko habang nakatingin lang sa kanya.

Nakikinig lang naman siya kaya nagpatuloy ako sa pagsasalita.

"Now Ragel, I will ask you, ano bang problema natin?"

Tanong ko na ikinaiwas niya ng tingin sa'kin.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. You always make me feel these, a lot that I can't even explain." she said and held back her tears.

"We can fix this. Alam mong may mali sa ginagawa you. I know some people won't understand your words but there's a person that won't even need words to understand you. Pero Ragel, hindi dapat palaging ganon. Giving hints is not communication."

"Did you get me? We need to become an adult who wants clear conversation, okay?" mahinahon ko pa ring sabi sa kanya na ikinatango niya.

"Now express yourself with me. Tell me what you feel about kasi susubukan kong maintindihan." sabi ko

Ilang minuto akong naghintay na magsalita siya pero nanatili siyang tahimik.

Okay, I'm not gonna force you. Lalabas na sana ako ng sasakyan ng magsalita siya.

"I can't find the right words to explain myself, I—"

"I feel like...I feel like I'm losing my damn mind, like your face has been carved into my heart. I don't remember when and I don't understand why, b-but...but I-I love you." Her voice cracked kasabay ng tuloy tuloy na pagtulo ng luha niya.

Once again I find myself in trance.

"I love you so much and it's like a torture seeing you with those girls I'm not familiar with. I don't know what's happening, what happened, but I look at you...I look at you and I love you so much!" she said loudly and just continued to cry.

I cursed under my breath as I felt my stomach fluttering.

My heart thundered through my chest, and I wished like hell that I could pause this moment, damn!

D-did she really say that she loves me?

"You drive me crazy." The only words I could say because I was still shocked.

Who wouldn't be shocked by her sudden confession ha?

"You have a boyfriend Professor Alcazar" My voice was unrecognizable in it's rawness.

"How can I believe you? When in fact you say right in front of me that you love him?" I said to her as I looked at her eyes.

She shook her head, still sobbing right infront of me.

"I-I don't love him" she with her cracked voice.

She looks so pitiful and I hate to see her like this, to see her crying right in front of me. I don't want her to cry, it makes me weak. Bullshit!

"Kale p-please don't get tired of me" she spoke again while staring at me and I could see the sadness and fear in her eyes.

"But it's not that easy, you have a boyfriend." she loves me but I will never settle for being number two. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng inis kaya lumabas ako sa sasakyan, mabilis din naman siyang lumabas na ikinatingin kong muli sa kanya.