On The Thin Ice

Chapter 33

"Paano mo malalaman kung siya na 'yong "the one" for you?" our class president asked.

It's already 1 AM pero nandito pa rin kami sa seaside. May mga iilan pa na nag ni-night swimming, samantalang 'yong iba ay may sari-sariling mundo.

Paikot kaming nakaupo ngayon habang sa gitna naman ay may bonfire. Kasama rin namin 'yong limang professors at 'yong iba pa sa department namin.

"Don't asked us Pres. hindi din naman alam."

"Kaya nga, wala nga kaming jowa."

Kanya kanyang sagot ng mga kasama namin.

"You will never know if he's the one or she's the one unless you try, Mr. Rabin."

Nabaling ang tingin ko sa babaeng biglang nagsalita.

Her voice is cold.

"You have to take a risk to be able to know na siya na 'yung tao para sayo."

Dagdag pa niya tsaka tumingin sakin na bahagyang ikinagulat ko. She's currently sitting next to Miss Ragel na katabi naman si Vesper.

Oo si Vesper, hindi ko alam bakit siya nandito pero nakakagago na. I know Miss Ragel already told me that she's going to end her relationship with Vesper nung isang araw pero wala, hindi niya ginagawa.

"It's so scary pala Ma'am kasi kailangan mo muna ma-try." sabat naman ni Eya.

That Professor take another drink of whiskey on her glass before she speak again.

"That's life, Ms. Lacoste. Kailangan mo muna ma try 'yung mga bagay na mag ri-risk ka, susugal ka sa isang tao na hindi ka sigurado."

"Pweding siya 'yung mapabuti sayo. Pweding siya rin 'yung makasama sa'yo." dagdag pa niya before she took another drink on her glass.

"Right Ma'am. Pero ako kasi hanggang ngayon takot pa rin ako mag take ng risk. Ayaw ko 'yung sumusugal ako sa mga bagay, sitwasyon, o tao na hindi ako sigurado." sabat naman ng babaerong si Vann.

"Pero sabi nga ni Ma'am, you will never know unless you try." seryosong sabi naman ni Eya sa kambal niya.

"Nakakatakot kasi talaga ngayon. Hindi mo sigurado kung ano 'yung joke, hindi mo rin alam kung ano 'yung totoo." natatawang epal ni troy sa usapan.

"Bakit ganon? Why do we have to take a risk kung pwedi naman na "Lord, ibigay mo nalang sa'min 'yung mga taong para sa'min" para hindi na kami masaktan, para hindi na ulit kami umiyak." one of my classmate suddenly spoked.

"Sabi ni Lord, ano ka gold?" pag epal ni Sai kaya naman nagsitawanan 'yung iba.

"What if you're tired of taking risk? You're tired to that person who always make you feel so less?" I coldly asked that made them eyed me.

I didn't take a glance at Miss Ragel even though I saw her from my peripheral vision that she's looking at me. Simula noong dumating dito si Vesper, she's talking to me like I'm just nothing and a stranger to her. And this day, she completely ignored me.

"Letting go is the best option kahit masakit." seryoso akong napatingin sa kanya.

I don't know her name. Sabi ko nga palagi ko siyang nahuhuling nakatingin sa'kin kahit pag nasa AVU kami. Siya lang 'yung hindi ko naririnig magsalita sa kanila kahit magkakasama sila.

"Never beg for love. Never beg to that person to be with you. Never beg for attention, commitment, affection, time and effort, Ms. Inyene." she seriously said while giving me a serious look.

She's right, I should never. I should know my worth.

"You should never have to ask to feel wanted. Begging is demanding and degrading. If that someone treats you like you're just one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation." I smile a bit because of what I've heard from her, while she's still giving me a serious look.