On The Thin Ice

Chapter 42

Disclaimer: Grammatical and typological errors are to be expected.

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RAGEL'S POV

"RAI!"

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL STILL STANDING THERE!" I heard Eros

"BULLSHIT! FIND RAI! FIND HER!"

Screaming woke me up. I pulled my blanket closer to me. I could hear gun shots and I couldn't stop crying. I covered my ears trying to block it out. Tears streamed down to my face as I felt my entire body getting cold.

It was happening again.

I bolted up from the bed when I heard footsteps approaching. Tears still dripping on my face.

"Ate..." I immediately look up when I heard Ysa's voice.

I quickly hugged her when she got close to me.

"Shush I'm here. I will not leave you Ate." she hushed as she hug me firmly. Trying to make me calm.

"I-I...its..I ca-can't..." I struggled to calm my erratic breathing, sweat covering my entire body as I shook my head many times.

"It's happening again." I heard her said as I slowly nodded.

"K-kale... where is she? I want to see her, Ysa... bring me to her please...p-please"

Naramdaman ko naman na mas humigpit pa ang yakap niya sa'kin pagkatapos kong sabihin 'yon kaya naman muli akong napahagulgol.

"It's been 3 years ate. You need to mov-"

"No!" I cried. Tears continuously falling from my face. I shake my head, but the tears won't stop.

Tuloy tuloy na tumulo ang luha ko. Mariin kong hinawakan ang kuwintas na ibinigay niya sakin.

"I don't believe with what you are saying. I-I know she's still alive...I just know..."

"Ate..."

"Hindi nakita ang katawan niya, Ysa. Kaya maghihintay ako. Hihintayin ko siya." I said, cutting her off.

Nakita ko namang malungkot ang mukha niya at napabuntong hininga na lang.

"How are you feeling now?" she asked, wiping the tears on my face using her thumb.

"I'm good" maikling sagot ko pero mukhang hindi siya kumbinsido.

Napailing nalang siya at inabot sa'kin ang isang basong tubig na agad ko rin namang tinanggap at ininom.

"Do you want me to stay here?" she asked again na ikinailing ko.

Mag aalas tres na rin naman ng madaling araw at paniguradong hindi na rin ako makakatulog.

"Go back to your room, you still have class tomorrow." I said as I heard her sighed tsaka tumayo.

"Just call me if you need something nalang Ate. Subukan mo rin ulit matulog, may trabaho ka rin bukas." sabi niya na ikinatango ko nalang bago siya tuluyang umalis.

Napasandal nalang ako sa headboard ng kama at napatitig sa kisame habang hawak pa rin ang kwintas na ibinigay niya sa'kin ng gabing nasa yate kami.

Yes, it's been 3 years. But the memories of what happened that day-that night, where everything's falling apart was still on my mind. That's the last time I saw her and it's the worst pain I've ever felt.

The absolutely worst.

They told me to forget what happened that day and try to move forward but they don't understand. They don't understand how I feel. Everyone sort of assumes that when you faced with life and death situations you will be okay instantly. But the truth is no, to be alive is my biggest fear right now. I cry and I wonder how to get through it. Because most likely in a case of real trauma, my brain wasn't great and ready at making new memories without her.