Second Best(2yeon/Najeong version)

Coming Back

Nayeon

She came back.

I keep saying it over and over again because it doesn't seem possible, every time I think I have figured her out she does something else to throw me off. I battle with what exactly I am going to say when I do get to her house there are a lot of things I am dealing with and it needs to be her who leads this relationship now. She's what I want but I need Jeongyeon to take the reins, my heart is mangled and its going to be her decision whether she wants to be the one to mend it.

Her apartment is only a few miles away from mine and I wish it was further, I have no idea what to say the words float through my mind: sorry I wish it was different, I want you I am mess. I don't know which is true or maybe all of them are, I am a mess I do want her- so much. I wish that this entire situation wasn't happening and I am sorry this is where we are.

I park in the drive and try to collect myself, I know two things. One, I care about Jeongyeon deeply. Two, I am going to have to process everything.

The walk to her apartment seems to take forever it could be that I am walking at a snail's pace, I go to knock and she opens the door.

Jeongyeon stands there in her tight navy blue t-shirt and dark blue jeans her light brown beanie is on her head and she leans against the door" Hi" she says and looks past me.

" Hi can I come in?" I ask hesitantly.

She opens the door and turns so I pass her. well shit.... now I have to talk.

Jeongyeon follows behind me and I look around her apartment is modern and practically empty. The typical bachelor pad complete with the biggest television I have ever seen. I stand in the middle of the room and she waves toward the couch.

" I am surprised you are here" Jeongyeon says as she sits in the seat next to me.

" If I am keeping you from something...."

" Its not important."

I tuck my hair behind my ear and try to decide where to start" I am going to talk and I'll probably ramble but I need to say it" I look up and she nods" I am sorry about throwing myself at you like that it wasn't fair to you or to whatever we have been doing. I care too much about you to do that..... but I knew you could make it go away, it makes me selfish and I am so embarrassed that I did that. When you left I drank so much and all I could do was replay how you looked at me when I begged you. I understand if you don't want to be with me or don't want m-"

" Don't even say it, Don't say I don't want you that's not the case. I want you everyday I want you" Jeongyeon cuts me off with her voice razor sharp.

My cheeks flush and my heart begins to race" Okay I just meant that I shouldn't have tried to get you to sleep with me last night."

" Look if all that shit hadn't gone down and you wanted to take that step, I would have been all for it. Trust me I want nothing more than to touch you but not because you want to fuck Jinyoung out of your mind, I want it to be because you can't stand the idea of me not touching you."

She's right but so wrong" I want to be with you there's something between us that is beautiful and I don't want to lose that even if you had said yes last night- it wouldn't have been that."

" That's exactly what it would have been lets be honest because if we start with lies this will fail before it even has a chance."

Fear of losing her begins to bubble up" I don't know how to go from here because I feel like I have taken two steps back. I want to trust you and I do but I feel like this affair just destroyed whatever we were building. How could you want me knowing this?"