Second Best(2yeon/Najeong version)

Series of Bad News

Nayeon

We both look at each other as her face falls she doesn't want to hurt me its clear in her eyes but she's going to Jihyo who usually has no problem saying anything shifts her weight back and forth as she waits for me to say something.

" Jihyo?" I ask with dread" You have to tell me."

She lets out a long breath and then her eyes flash with resolve" Fuck OpSec I talked to Tzuyu today and she figured you'd be here already" she pauses and I bite back the bile threatening to choke me.

My breaths come in short bursts" I-I... Please don't" I heave and put my hands on my knees.

Jihyo is at my side rubbing my back" Nay calm down listen to me please" I stand slowly and she walks with me over to the couch" They are out on a mission it wasn't supposed to be a long one from what I understand al Tzuyu said is they have gone dark for some reason they can't establish coms and can't get in touch with her to relay the information they have missed the last three checkpoints but they have one more window if they don't answer by then Tzuyu is sending a team in."

I close my eyes and try to focus on breathing she has to be alive there's no way she'd leave me like this.

" She'll be fine" I say with defiance" she knows what she's doing" I stand and grab my bag.

" Nay talk to me" Jihyo stands and clutches my hand.

" I have to go food shopping I'll see you later" I squeeze her hand and look for my keys.

" Food shopping?" her voice is high" what the hell are you talking about?"

" We need food in the house we didn't have food in the house the last time and I need to make sure we can eat" I explain as if it should be obvious" When Jinyoung died I remember wanting some chips and we didn't have any I need to get food and chips maybe some chocolate or ice cream I should probably have a variety of things because I don't know what I'll crave this time if I leave now I can get home in time to do some other errands."

" Nayeon" her voice is soft" stop."

" No you stop!" I can't take anymore" I need to go grocery shopping have to do something because if I stop if I take a minute to pause I am going to go insane do you not see the irony?" I pause " I am pregnant- again I am having a miracle and I am going to lose my other one I need food in the house I need to clean so that the next time I see you I am prepared."

As much as I want to cry I can't the tears sit on the cusp but they won't come I need to keep moving and get ready for what seems to be inevitable in my life hope that was springing to life dies before it blooms I should have known better than this Jeongyeon warned me that her life would always be like this she told me before we started this that she could die.

" Okay you just don't know anything yet I am here though I trust in Tzuyu and Jeongyeon don't let fear lead you down a road you don't need to be on."

" I am not scared I am just ready for the inevitable."

I lied to myself over and over that I could handle that possibility I can't lose her I can't stand by her casket and relive that again respecting death is her deal because if this plays out poorly it'll be my heart that never beats again.

" Nay...."

" No I should go I shouldn't have asked you to tell me."

Jihyo steps closer" I would have been at your house in about five minutes I promise I'll call if I know anything I have hope Nay."

She pulls me into her arms as I block out the fear I can't let myself go down this road there's too many variables and too much at stake hope doesn't grant you wishes it doesn't paint you pretty pictures or give you a place of relief its something we hold on to when we need something to believe in I believe in truth and facts right now the only think I know is she's missing and could be dead.