Second Best(2yeon/Najeong version)

Stepping Back

Nayeon

We don't mention the kiss we barely acknowledge each other's presence its awkward and its as if we are walking on eggshells I cleaned the stuff from outside while Jinyoung looked through photo books of Emma.

" DO you want to sleep in the bedroom? I can take the couch" I offer.

" No I think I am going to head to Mark's maybe spend the night there Jackson offered the condo he owns as well."

" Oh" I reply I can't fully explain why this bothers me at all I should be happy but it saddens me its come to this he just got home and I have already displaced him" You can stay here Jinyoung I mean if you want to spend time with Emma I know things are.... strained.... between us but this is your home."

" My home is where you are, you are not here with me" he says and then goes back to the picture book.

The reactions play out in my mind but my mouth stays closed I could tell him he's wrong but he's not I could give him false hope but I won't" I don't know what to say" which is the only honest thing I can reply.

He closes the book and I sit next to him" You can say you'll try maybe you can forgive me see how much I love you are all years of marriage worth so little to you?"

I look over as tears begin to fall painting my face with the pain in my heart" It was never easy for me to let you go I struggled so much with it even at my angriest I never wished you dead" Jinyoung brushes the tears from my face" But you hurt me so badly even if you had only slept with her once you did it on one of the worst nights of my life she loved you Jinyoung I could see it in her eyes she came to your memorial."

" She's irrelevant to me its you who has my heart its you who has my world."

I don't acknowledge his statement because right now I don't believe him I know what its like to be someone's world.

The bruise in the side of his face is starting to fade and my hand reaches up to feel it I try to remember what his skin felt like beneath my fingers how his clean shaved face would allow the pads of my fingers to slide down with no resistance the way our bodies would come alive at each others touch his head leans into my hands as if I am comforting him how long did he endure pain? How much was he wake for and how did he suffer?

" Did they torture you?" I don't respond to his statement because all I can think about is his marred skin the way the Jinyoung I knew is gone in every sense of the word his body which was once strong enough to lift me even when I was pregnant doesn't look like it could lift much more than Emma.

His eyes close" I can't talk about that I was badly injured and barely holding on it wasn't until the end that anything really happened and then Charlie got word out."

" But they hurt you why did she wait so long?"

Jinyoung grips my hands" I think it looks worse remember I was in an explosion some of these are injuries that didn't heal right there was a medic on site of the extraction and he said I am really lucky she had a job to do exposing me would have sacrificed everything she's worked for her helping me was a huge risk I respect her mission I feel like I need to tell you something."

I brace myself for whatever it might be" I don't know how much more I can take."

" I am going to fight for you I didn't live for nothing I'll be damned if you think I ma going to fade away you and I are for life Nay. You, me and our daughter we have a lot of adjusting and a lot to work through but we make sense."

" I need you to stop and listen to what I am saying" I plead hoping he won't make me say it I am battling everything inside of me to not tell him I went to Jeongyeon's last night I am fighting to not tell him I want to be there right now but I know it'll break him and no matter how badly he hurt me with Jisoo I know that this will wound him deeper.