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Austin : do a mommy carrot and and a daddy carrot have to have sex to make a baby carrot

Hannah : I don't know, Austin

Hannah : I never was a carrot

-

-when Hannah has kids-

Austin : OH SO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO REPLACE ME?!

Hannah : I-

Austin : HUSH

Hannah : *disappears in a cloud of gay smoke*

-

old childhood friends : oh come on, you're  kids/friends wife can't be that bad, can they?

Rayla : *chasing Lilly with a shoe*

Lilly : *running away from Rayla*

Austin : *slamming their head on the wall*

Clover, Delilah, Gracie, Quinn and October : *screaming*

Janie : *walking in, covered in blood*

Hannah : *long sip*

Hannah : they're worse

-

Ronan : I'm so useless

Natalia : bro, that is not true!

Natalia : I could easily sell you on the black market for at least $500,000

-

Annika : I can't believe we're stuck in this room together

Inessa, swallowing the key : truly unfortunate

-

me : if you took a shot every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?

Hannah, Delilah, Danny, Noelle, Quinn, Gracie, Rosabelle, Adrienne, Estella : maybe a bit tipsy

Lilly, Rayla, October, Valeria, Forest, Leo, Annika, Oleg, Natalia : drunk

Inessa, Peter, Chloe, Clover, Mae, Ronan, Andy, Ari : wasted

Maxxie, Nova, Roxie, Robin, Olga, Austin, Janie, Luz, Esmee  : dead

-

Natalia : I'm a lesbian

Noelle : waters wet, Zendaya is an icon, you're hot asf-

Natalia : what?

Noelle : sorry, I thought we were listing obvious things

Natalia :

Natalia : wait, did you just call me hot?

-

Janie : *pulls back shower curtain*

Janie : hey do you want to -Hannibal, stop screaming, it's just me- do you want to watch Shrek with me?

Hannah : I'M IN THE SHOWER

Janie : okay , when you're done , do you want to watch Shrek with me?

-

Maxxie : I'm just saying, next time I'm going to get you

Noelle : I'm just saying I beat you twice

Maxxie : the first time was a tie

Noelle : and the second time?

Maxxie : there were no witnesses the second time

-

Robin : since it's impossible to know which part of my life is the middle I've decided to have an ongoing crisis

-

Elsie : I can't feel my leg

Chloe :

Chloe : *stabs her leg*

Elsie : *shrieks in pain* WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

Chloe : YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR

-

Robin : I'm back on my bullshit!

Roxie : no

Roxie, climbing onto his head like a fucking gargoyle : WE'RE back on OUR bullshit

-

Annika : I'm well aware that I've accidentally set myself on fire and it's none of your business. I don't need your pity water either. let me burn in peace.

-

Leo : remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with violence?

Annika : stop romanticizing the past

-

Olympia : I'm not that great at advice

Olympia : can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

-

Andy : jellyfish have survived 600,000 years without brains.

Natalia : oh good, there's still hope for Maxxie

-

Eddie : I can't believe you took my daughter's virginity!

Artemis : sorry dickhead, it won't happen again

Eddie :

Roxie : she's got a point

-

Hannah : what the hell is wrong with you?

Clover : can't you at least start with good morning?

Hannah : good morning, what the hell is wrong with you?

-

Olympia : I'm a goldfish cracker

Adrienne : explain

Olympia : I'm a snack that smiles back

-

Mae : why are you hiding in here?

Danny : I am avoiding all and any responsibilities

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