Esmee, after consuming enough caffeine to kill three horses, crawling around the room rapidly : WHERE ARE THE FRESH CHILDREN FOR ME TO FEAST UPON?!
Clover, holding up a cross, backing themself into a corner : what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK—
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Forest : am I right, Star?
Nova : I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.
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Olga : any questions?
Annika : yes, I have a lot of questions
Annika : number one: how dare you?
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Delilah : what is the proper way to dealing with an abusive mother?
Luz : a knife
Delilah : wha- no!
October : two knives
Delilah : STILL NO
Quinn : god, you guys are so dumb. the proper way is an untraceable poison.
Delilah : why am I friends with you people?
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Janie : why do people have quiet, respectful funerals? when I die, I want my ashes mixed with glitter and packed tightly into a coffin, and then they blow up the coffin with explosives so glitter rains down on the guests while blasting random girl in red songs.
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Natalia : why is blood so hard to wash off your hands?
Natalia : I JUST REALISED HOW BAD THIS SOUNDS. FOR THE RECORD, I HAD A NOSE BLEED, I'M NOT A SERIAL KILLER
Maxxie : we both know that isn't true
Andy : hydrogen peroxide dissolves blood, just fyi
Ronan : do you think if you gave someone a huge shot of hydrogen peroxide straight into their bloodstream it would kill them?
Noelle : this group is filled with murderers-
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Austin, cause they're a pure bean : and look, I made a marshmallow Hannah. see? her arms are crossed because she's mad at all the other marshmallow crackheads for annoying her. do you like it?
Hannah, choking up with parental pride : it's okay
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Gracie, panicking at a Wendy's : can I get uh...a lamp?
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Hannah : shhhhh, guys, do you hear that?
Austin : what?
Hannah : that was the sound of my patience shattering into a billion pieces
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October : YOU READ MY DIARY?!
Lilly : at first, I didn't know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad hand-written novel.
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Annika : only call me if there's an emergency
Annika, answering a call not even five minutes later : what?
Inessa : there's an emergency
Annika : already?
Olga : I miss you
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Hannah : and here are the instructions for while I'm gone
Clover : this just says "Rat bastards, no"
Hannah : apply that to every scenario you can think of
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Olympia : there is no difference between exercise and black magic. both of them hurt your body at first and drain you of energy, but the more you dabble in it, the more powerful you become.
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Noelle : can you be serious for five minutes?
Andy : my record is four, but I think I can manage
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Natalia : what are the rules of Monopoly?
Andy, looking at Maxxie : if the game lasts over four hours, you get the legal right to kill the person who asked to play.
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Natalia : and these are my new friends and family!
Her bio siblings, watching Maxxie chase Andy with a knife, Ronan use trash wheels as new roller skates wheels and Noelle desperately trying to stop them :
Her bio siblings : my god and I though our house was chaotic-
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Janie : I just want everyone to know that my stuffed animals are better than you
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Austin : parent, how do I get revenge on my enemies?
Hannah : the best revenge is living with kindness and moving on!
Austin :
Austin : mother, how do I-
Janie : knife
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doctor : how would you rate your pain?
Forest : -0/10, would not recommend
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Xenia : *sneezes*
Chloe :
Xenia : you're not even going to say bless you?
Chloe : I'm sitting here with you, you have clearly been blessed
