Jus Nou Drein Jus Daun

I Bare it so They Dont Have to

Lexas pov:
I watch Clarke eat her food, I could tell she hasn't eaten in at least a month by the way she's almost devoured the whole tray. She finishes eating, then drinks the cup of water. She soon puts the tray down and we both look at each other in silence. We must've both gotten lost in each other's eyes once again. Clarke and I snap back to reality hearing Indra come into the tent. "My apologies Heda, Clarke, how are you feeling?" Indra states plainly and firm, like always. "Better now, thank you for bringing me in." I hear Clarke say to Indra. Her voice is so beautiful. It's so soothing it can put me into the deepest sleep. I don't hear the rest of the conversation as I zone out staring at the floor in front of me while sitting on the bed. I start to think about the kiss. What just happened? Did she just kiss me herself? Does she feel the same way? Do I ask? Did she really mean it when she said 'I love you too'? What if she doesn't actually feel the same way? I must've been so into my thoughts that I don't hear Indra ask me a question. I snap into reality when I feel Clarke lay her hand on my thigh trying to be comforting. "Hey, you ok?" She whispers to me with what looks like worry in her eyes, I can see she cares for me, the same way I do for her. I nod to her and look at Indra who has a confused expression on her face. I feel Clarke slowly let go of my thigh and place her hand on the bed behind her to support her body to sit up. "Like I said, Heda, should I send out another search party to make sure there are no further threats from the mountain men or Skaikru?" Indra states plainly, but this time her voice a bit less firm. I nod and signal her that she is dismissed.

I watch Indra exit the tent and turn around to Clarke looking at me with sympathy. "Don't look at me like that." I say playfully trying to hide my worries from her, but it's like she can see right through me. "You sure you're ok?" I hear her ask with the most sympathy i've ever heard from her. I don't answer and look at her in silence. "Are you?" I manage to blurt out. "I never asked you, why did you leave your camp anyway?" I continue. The sympathy in Clarkes eyes soon turn into guilt. She turns her head and looks at the floor, avoiding eye contact with me. "Clarke?" I say softly with sympathy. I angle my head down to try to look at her face and see tears starting to well up in her eyes. "Hey.." I say softly, almost like a whisper. I try to be comforting and wrap my arm around her and pull her in so her head is leaning on my shoulder. Clarke soon exhales, I hear her breath shaky. I soothingly rub her arm where my hand was rested. I see Clarke managing to pull herself together and eventually sits up and looks at me. A stray tear falls down her face. I'm quick to wipe it with my thumb as I place my hand on her cheek, as she did to me not too long ago, then drift my hand to grab her shoulders in comfort. "I- I couldn't- I couldn't bare it." She manages to blurt out. She takes a deep breath and continues. "I could've saved them, but instead I murdered everyone in that mountain, children, innocent lives that helped us." Clarke, who is trying to keep her tears back, starts to shake. I immediately pull her into a warm hug and rub her back soothingly with comfort. I hear the poor girl sobbing into my chest, saturating my shirt with her tears. I shush her as I rub her back. "I'm a monster." I hear her blurt out in between sobs. Her words break my heart. "That's not true, Clarke. You were just trying to save your people, I would've done the same." I say hoping it helps her feel better. But my thoughts were getting ahead of me. If you didn't leave her, betraying her, she wouldn't be suffering right now.

I manage to flush out my thoughts, not realizing Clarke had sat up from the hug I gave her, just in time to hear her say, "Thank you." I look at her confused, but trying not to show it. It's like she just knows what i'm feeling. She continues. "For not seeing me as the monster that I am." Her ocean blue eyes, with red around them from crying, looking at mine, our eyes lock once more. I place my arms over her shoulders, so that my hands met behind her neck, I hesitate, but soon I pull her in and gently press my lips onto hers. I immediately feel Clarke kiss back. I get tons of butterflies and chills as Clarke makes the move to push me over on the bed to lay on my back. She leads me down on the bed, now laying facing each other with our head on the pillows. Our lips part momentarily as Clarke looks me in the eyes. "I love you, Lex." My body uncontrollably reacts with shock which I can tell Clarke noticed because of the cute smirk on her face. Lex? She gave me a nickname. She leans in again and our lips touch once again. She does love me. We feel the same way. I feel our lips part as Clarke lays down beside me. "You should consider going back to your camp, i'm sure people miss you, and it could help you get over what happened, Clarke." I say to her softly looking at the ceiling. There was a small silence, Clarke speaks up. "On one condition," I look at her as she continues. "You come with me. I can't do this alone." I smile at her and nod. She comes closer toward me and lays her head on my chest, I wrap my arms around her, not to hard so I don't hurt her she's still weak from the month she was alone, my hands meet at her hip, locking her under my protection. God she's so beautiful. And she's all mine. "We'll leave tomorrow morning. It's pretty late." I hear Clarke say with her eyes shut while placing her hands on mine that were wrapped around her stomach. Shortly, the woman of my dreams dozes off on my chest, I can't help but smile. She's adorable. I love her so much. I soon doze off along with her. Tomorrow was a big day, for Clarke but for me as well. I have no idea how Skairkru will react to me showing up at their camp.