James' Journal, August312022d.mp3
"Nightcall", Kavinsky
Every time Aidan heard someone asking if Elise would be back soon, he smiled and drank another shot. He was pretty messed up quite early that night. I told him - I! Me! - that he should go easy on the booze: can you believe it? He grumbled something and just kept on.
At some point, Lucas put on "Nightcall" by Kavinsky. Big mistake. I knew it was the first song Aidan had heard Elise sing. I turned my head towards him but he was already gone.
"Stop this song now," he screamed at Lucas.
The poor boy panicked. "What is it? What's wrong with the song?"
"Stop it now," he said showing his teeth.
Anna pushed Aidan. "What's going on? Leave him alone."
"I'm sorry for the song. I'll change it," Lucas said, tripping over his words.
"You do not threaten my brother, do you understand?"
Aidan forced out a reply. I tried to intervene and said: "It's just the song. It's the first song... you know...."
Anna understood, and her face drowned in a wave of sadness. "I get it. But calm down. My brother didn't know. You are drunk. You should go home."
And as if Anna's grief and solicitude were too much to bear, Aidan turned away and went to the other side of the room without a word. I followed him. "She's right. You should go home," I said.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"You want to torture yourself? Fine. But you don't put it on the kid."
"You're giving me moral lessons now?"
"Okay, fine. You want to play this game? I can take it. I've been dealing with your crap for hundreds of years. So come on, give me all you've got!"
"Stop it." His hand held his glass tighter and tighter.
"Come on. You have to let it out. Express yourself, for fuck's sake."
"Stop it." The glass exploded in his hand.
"Right. Anger. Okay."
Aidan stood up and left through the backdoor. I followed him into the alley. "Leave me alone," he said.
"Sorry, you're a wreck and you're my best friend, so no can do."
He pushed me against the wall. "I can't do that now," he whispered, shaking.
"Alright. But don't stay alone with this. I'm here."
"I know," he said and he let me go.
He looked at me, and I could see how much he was conflicted. But he couldn't talk yet. So I let him walk away. He needed more time.
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