The Rules of Living with the Avengers

37. Don't tease Tony

"How do we get up there?" I ask as we all walk up to the top floor. Loki is already up there, talking privately to Sif. I'm not jealous but I'm certainly not happy.

"To Asgard?" I nod. Natasha looks at the others. "Never been."

"Is there electricity up there?" Tony asks.

"Probably not, moron," I laugh.

"Potts, you should speak better to your elders and wisers."

"Maybe just elder."

"Okay! Let's go!" Bruce says quickly as Tony opens his mouth to reply, looking angry. "Tony, let's just let Ellie deal with her situation first."

"What situation?"

"Bruce!" Natasha groans and hits the scientist on the arm. Bruce jumps but thankfully doesn't Hulk out. Last time, a lot of things had to be replaced. Like my irreplaceable Benedict Cumberbatch signed Sherlock poster. Well, I got a new one but the old one had sentimental value. Ish. "Your situation is-" she starts then stops.

"What's my situation?" I whine. "Please tell me. Please. Please. Please."

"Loki and Sif," Natasha says, "have a romantic past."

"Mm," I say. What I mean is WHY FUCKING WHY but mm seems slightly less angry.

Tony chuckles. "Mm?" He says mockingly. "Mm?"

"Shut up, moron, unless you want me to tell Aunt Pepper about everything that's been happening," I grin. "Parties, alcohol, drugs."

"Coulson's fan party, my alcohol and paracetamol? Hardcore lifestyle, Potts," Tony opens the door to the roof and lets me go ahead of him. Loki and Sif are talking intently, and there's a smile on Loki's face.

I frown at the scene then Clint nudges me. "Just hmm?" He mutters. "Last time I saw Nat flirting with someone else, I broke his nose."

I see Bruce tenderly touch his nose at the mention of that and laugh. Bucky laughs along with me and Steve shoots us a jealous look. I'm guessing he's not feeling very mm right now either. More giant green jealousy monster. Why does she have to look so badass?

"Okay, so who wants to be first?" Loki calls out.

"What if it goes wrong and we end up splinching?" Natasha asks. I wince.

"Who's the least important member of our group?" Tony says.

There's a second pause then I realise he's looking at me. "Hey!" I protest. "If I get horribly injured, Pepper will go mad! I think you should go up first."

"I'm important! I'm the leader of the Avengers!"

"Actually..." Bucky pats Steve's head. "My boyfriend is."

"But I make everyone look cool!" Tony says.

"Who's going first?" Loki repeats himself and I hesitate before stepping forward.

"I volunteer!"

Loki nods and is about to summon the portal or whatever magical stuff happens when I add my final words, "I volunteer as tribute!"

Everyone but Clint groans. Clint just claps like a seal and gives a weird giggle.

"Bye, Grandpa!" I say to Tony. He glares at me, a hand travelling to his receding hairline. Okay, maybe it's not receding but he's so vain, it's hilarious to tease him about it.

"I'll get you back for that," Tony yells. There's a burst of light from the sky and I hope no-one is watching Avengers Tower tonight. Just before I go, Tony runs over to Loki and whispers something in his ear. Loki looks confused then surprised then he laughs and looks straight at me.

The last thing I see before I shoot up is Tony looking smug then I'm being whisked off to another realm.

Holy shit.