The Rules of Living with the Avengers

10. Always use your bow wisely and not to shoot SHIELD agents

"Hawk-" I start to say and Clint throws a pillow at me. "Cli-" another pillow. "Why are you-" a book.

"Pass me the book back," he tells me and I pick it up and read the title.

"The Hunger Games?" I raise an eyebrow. "Again?"

"Always," he says and then grins at me. "Maybe Hunger Games will be our al-"

"You do not quote The Fault In Our Stars at me, you imbecile, unless you want to get me very mad," I glare at him and throw the book at him. It hits him on his nose. Ha.

"Okay." He says with a wicked grin. I storm off, wondering what else to do. Once I reach my room, I look at my presents. I put on the outfit Natasha got me- it's all black and clingy and apparently very good for combat- and reach for my bow.

"Activate," I say and it comes to life.

"Ma'am, would you like a bow and if so, of what kind?" She (it sounds like a woman) says.

"Elizabeth," I say, "I would like about eight tranquilliser darts. Non lethal."

"Certainly, ma'am." Eight darts come out and I put them in my leather jacket pocket. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Stay active. At all times. I may need you as more than a bow." I say and tie up my boot laces. "Today we are attempting a mission. It is called Mission Tranquillise the Professionals."

***
An hour later, I'm in the helicarrier, the chaos I made Loki cause has just died down and all of my targets are on board. "Are you sure you'll be okay on your own whilst we're all busy?" Bruce asks me.

"I'm eighteen now, Brucie. I will be fine," I say and watch them all go their separate ways. I stay sat on my thinking spot until Coulson walks past me and gives me a strange look. I guess sitting on a hammock that I quickly made out of tying some agent's shirts together makes me look strange.

I get off and walk quickly to Loki's prison. "Mortal," his smile disappears as he sees who's entered, "what a disappointment. I thought you were the attractive agent who brings me food. She wants to date me."

I smile at him. "I need the intel. Have you written it down?"

"Certainly. Unlock my door and I can pass it to you." He smirks.

"No, I'm not falling for that again. Where is it?" I scowl. He waves his laptop at me slightly. "Email me then."

"What's your e-mail address?" He asks with a sigh.

I tell him and a minute later, my phone buzzes. One new email. "Thank you," I say. "I won't tell anyone about your involvement in the getting of their normal schedules and what they do every day."

"Thank you, mortal," he replies and I start to walk out, reading through the document he sent me.

Agent Phillip Coulson
Every day at 9am he gets a donut from the helicarrier cafeteria with the sign [73] on the door. Normally he goes with another agent but on Mondays he goes alone. The cafeteria is usually empty apart from the workers and Stan, the janitor who drinks coffee there every morning from 9:03am to 9:07am. You have a 3 minute slot in which to shoot Agent Coulson before Stan gets there.
Good luck.

I check my watch. Five to nine. I speed walk to Cafeteria [73] and enter it with one minute to go until he gets here. The workers look at me, frowning. "Hello! I'm conducting a training exercise on Agent Phil Coulson in which I need to shoot him with a tranquilliser gun so please act like nothing is wrong when I do." I tell them.

"Who are you? An agent?" One of them says roughly.

"Yes. Junior Agent Eleanor Potts, niece of Mr Stark's fiancée, so if you'd kindly follow my orders...sir," I add with a smile. He just shrugs at me and goes back to scrubbing a table.

I sit at a table and wait until Coulson comes in a minute later than I was expecting. Two minutes left. I wave at him and walk over. "Phil!" I say with fake friendliness.

"Ellie," he nods at me. "You threw a great party the other night."

"Aw, thanks," I shoot a glance at my watch. Damn one and a half minutes left. "Listen I need to tell you a secret. It has to be quick because I'm on a tight schedule."

"Sure. Fire away." Coulson says. I produce my bow and shoot him with a dart in the neck with thirty seconds to go.

"Well, you did tell me to fire away," I say to him as he falls asleep. I look around me and see Stan just opening the door. He opens it and sees Coulson's body and shakes slightly.

"Damn. Not again," he says. I watch from the secret tunnel leading from this cafeteria to my next target.

Agent Maria Hill
At 9:23am she arrives at the meeting room for some peace and quiet before the 9:25 meeting. You have 2 minutes to complete this mission. The location is Meeting Room {2} on the third floor. She may put up a fight. Last time someone tried to surprise her, they were in hospital for a month.

I watch Hill as she sorts through the papers on the table then take a deep breath and step out, ready to fire a dart. She looks up and glares at me. "Why have you got a bow out?" She snaps.

"I'm sorry, Hill, this won't kill y-OW!" I screech as she punches me. "I just said it won't kill you!"

Hill narrows her eyes. "What will it do?"

"It..oh God I'm bleeding..it..uh...my nose kills!" I yell at her. Then realise I have less than a minute left. "Ha it was a joke?" I try. She starts to step forward and I get her in the arm with the dart.

Anthony Stark
At 9:32am he is in Science Lab #7 using acid at 58% clarification

I almost scream. There's nothing else. The document stops there. I don't know about any of the others or the time frame or anything. Tony is already down. It wasn't really a challenge. He was listening to AC/DC so he didn't even hear me.

Steve is meant to be next. I know he's in Training Room ^7*H (all the symbols and numbers and letters stand for something but I can't remember) because I saw him earlier. And Natasha is in Training Room +2=9 because two agents came out from there with bruises everywhere.

Clint is in Archery Room _12\ and Thor is annoying Fury in Room |1~0. My final target was going to be Agent Sharon Carter, Steve's old neighbour. Just because I thought she was a worthy target. Not because of anything to do with Steve. Capsicle.

She's in Room <GY9>, doing whatever she's doing. GY stands for General something or other.

I creep up to <GY9> just in case there's no-one else there and I can shoot her with a dart but then get yanked back. I look at Fury's angry face and smile nervously. "Hi?"

***
"Irresponsible!" Tony mutters as he strides past me to pour a drink. "What if someone had been hurt?"

"Just because you talk in your sleep and didn't want anyone to know," I roll my eyes. Clint grins at me.

"Well done, amazing archery work and good pranking," he whispers and I high-five him. Tony turns back to us and we both look guilty.

"I give up," he sighs. "I'm going to the lab."

"Okay!" I wave him off then turn to Clint. "So...Hawkeye...how's Natasha?" I smirk.

"How's Steve?" He retorts and I storm off to bed.

***
Once in my room, I am about to switch my light on when I see a shadow lurking in the corner. I slowly grab my gun from the side table and approach. "Hello?" I say and whoever it is turns towards me. I can see a metal arm and messy hair.

"Who the hell are you!" I snap and the man gets into a fighting stance. He starts to attack me and I hit him over the head with my gun. He slumps to the floor. "Steve!" I yell and the super soldier runs in.

The light turns on and I realise who it is. Steve stares at me then at the figure on the floor. "Bucky.." He says.

"Who.." The Winter Soldier mumbles. "...the hell...is Bucky..."

"Um..." I look at Steve. "Well I don't know what all this fuss is about, he's not that hard to beat up."