The Rules of Living with the Avengers

16. Do not try to put a Santa hat on Fury because it's Christmas.

"We need to cheer you up," Clint tells me. "How about decorating a tree?"

"We've already decorated all our trees."

"I don't mean one of ours. Like a random one in a garden."

"No."

"How about-"

"I'm not going to like it."

"Getting Fury to wear a Santa hat?"

"Yes!"

***
I don't know where Clint has found that glow in the dark, pink, sparkly hat with a flashing lights arrangement that forms a reindeer kissing a penguin (disturbing) but it's perfect.

We hide behind someone's desk as he passes us then pop back up. The agent jumps and spills coffee all over. I hide my laughter as he cleans it up.

"Sorry," I say sheepishly. "Merry Christmas."

"Whatever," he shrugs. "I should get back to work now." Fury comes over, glaring at me.

"Potts! What are you doing?" He shouts.

"Um," I see Clint getting out the hat behind him and sigh. I'm rubbish at stalling people. The others are amazing. Tony and Bruce go on huge science rants, Steve talks about the war, Thor rambles on about Asgardian creatures, Natasha flirts and Clint makes fun of them. "Glad tidings we bring from you and your kin. We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!"
Oh God. I always resort to singing. It's embarrassing. And confusing for the other person. In one of Steve's interrogations, I once started doing the Cup Song and the criminal joined in. By the end, I had made a new best friend and they confessed murdering three people.

"Leave, Potts!"

"Sure!" I say and skip off. Clint follows, doubled over with laughter and I grin at him. "What if he notices and just takes it off?" I ask.

"Super glue. The melting antidote glue is in the tower, hidden in your underwear drawer."

"Great." I say. We both grab chairs and begin to watch.

***
An hour later Fury still hasn't noticed and the agents are laughing their heads off. Aw. Bless them. And bless our genius. And bless-

He's staring at us. "He looks mad," I whisper to Clint.

"He can't get his hat off," he says.

"So he's figured out."

"Yep. Why don't we get up-" we both stand up "-and slowly walk away?"

I start to walk, Clint leading me out then we hear a bellow of rage from Fury. "The hat is fucking stuck to my head!" He yells.

I run.

Merry Christmas! Hope you have a great day and get lots of presents! Please comment and vote as your Christmas spirit shall pass onto me. I'm not feeling that Christmassy at the moment. But I'm sure that will change!