The Rules of Living with the Avengers

7. Don't tell Steve about Twitter

"Steve!" I yell and he looks up from his book, nervously. "On your Official Captain America Twitter account, you just got over twenty million followers!"

"Twitter account? Followers? Who is following me?" He says and looks around like he's expecting someone to jump out at him.

"No...they follow the account online and the account tweets what you've been up to and sightings of you and interviews and things," I explain but he looks even more bewildered.

"Tweets? Like a bird?"

"Posts. Have you seen Facebook?" He nods eagerly. "Do you know that people post things?" He nods again. "It's like that but it's called tweets. And on Twitter you don't have to follow the people that follow you back."

"Wow. Do any of my friends have this Twitter?"

"Tony has an Ironman and Stark official one that Pepper updates. Clint has a Hunger Games fandom one. Bruce has one to 'meet like-minded scientists' and Natasha refused to tell me if she has one," I say. He looks astounded and I wonder whether I should have told him.

"How can I get one?" He beams.

***
"Someone called Captainrogerstwitter followed me on Twitter," Tony says as we gather round Bruce's homemade soup. I glance at Steve who's looking happy.

"Me too," Bruce frowned. "He's not a scientist. He must be a Captain America fan, right, Steve?"

"Uh..." He looks confused then nods. "Right. Probably. You should follow him back. And tweet him."

I choke on my soup. Why isn't he telling them? Natasha just looks suspicious. I suppose he shouldn't really use Twitter language.

"Oh, okay, maybe," Tony says and slurps up his soup. "Good soup, Brucie."

"Thanks," Bruce blushes.

"Yes, thank you for the extraordinary soup, Doctor Banner," Thor booms politely.

I just grin at him and carry on gulping it down.

***
Steve is tapping away on his phone, typing something then scrolling then typing again. "Hey, Steve," I say as I sit next to him on the sofa. He ignores me. "Steve?" He still is staring at his phone. "Steve!" I shout and he yells out.

"Ellie! You scared me!"

"I said Steve about a million times. Honestly. What are you even doing?" I roll my eyes. He quickly shoves his phone under a pillow.

I seriously doubt whether any of them are actually the smart Avengers who saved New York sometimes.

I get it out and unlock it. "How did you guess my password?" He asks, mouth open.

"It's quite obvious, Capsicle. It's 1945," I say and he goes red. I look at the screen. "Twitter?" I ask with a sigh.

"I followed everyone in SHIELD who has it and I followed some other superheroes. Have you ever heard of the X-Men?"

"They're not exactly in hiding, Steve," I grin. "There's a school upstate."

"Oh well I've followed some of them on Twitter. Why did no-one tell me about this sooner? Even Magneto has it!"

"Seriously?" I search through his followers. "Where is he on here?"

"Oh he uh refused to follow me. Said I was a ridiculous Spangle fan and that I was a...um bad word..."

"Poor Stevie," I smirk. "Guess you won't be using Twitter from now on?"

"I just unfollowed him. I love Twitter. I've made loads of new friends. They think I'm a history enthusiast Captain America fan called Steve Barnes from New York," he says and snatches his phone off me.

"Steve Barnes?" I say.

"First last name I thought of," he says quietly.

"Why Barnes?" I ask. He just shrugs. I get up and walk out slowly.

***
"We need an intervention," I tell Natasha. She looks at me from her position against the wall, an apple balancing on her head. Clint was choosing an arrow to shoot the apple off.

"Is it for Stark's drinking? Because it doesn't work. Pepper has tried again and again. And Bruce won't start dating. Also Steve won't stop trying to find Bucky. Thor won't stop eating pop-tarts. Loki won't stop trying to escape and Clint won't stop fangirling over Katniss," she says.

I look up and he winks at me. "Guilty as charged," he says.

"It's about Steve's obsession with..." I sigh. "Twitter."

"Steve doesn't have Twitt-" Natasha stops and stares at me. "Does he?"

"I kind of introduced him to it."

"That's what he was doing on his phone!" Clint says. "I thought he was reading embarrassing smut fanfiction."

"Like you do?" I say.

"Shut up. Move."

"What?"

An arrow flies through the air, narrowly missing me and piercing the apple in the exact centre. Natasha doesn't even flinch. She just takes the apple off her head and bites into it. "We'll throw the intervention idea past Stark," she tells me through a mouthful of apple.

"Thanks. And don't tell him it was my fault-"

"Miss Potts, Master Stark wanted me to inform you that he was watching everything on the security cameras and he hopes that you can run because Steve is being really annoying."

"Thanks, JARVIS," I sigh and start to run to my room.

Next will be the intervention da da daaaaa. then I might include some little bit of Frostbite ;)