earned it [h.s.]

43.

TW: mentions of physical and emotional abuse

Genevieve.

Seeing Harry's car parked by my building made my heartbeat slow down tremendously.

I saw him leaning against his closed car door with a white T-shirt on and some blue jeans with rips at the knees, casually scrolling on his phone. He wore sunglasses and his usual blue checkered vans. I loved seeing him so dressed down.

And seeing him, made a fresh wave of emotions clash through my body and knock me right out. It's like I never knew what it felt like to need someone until I felt such an urge to run to him and feel his arms wrapped around me so safely.

Safe.

That was the main feeling I got from Harry. The thought of losing him truly did hurt me, and I didn't know when I got so deep in it, when these feelings developed like this. They were scary, because he wasn't truly mine. Not yet, or maybe not even ever. I had to see it to believe it, and I hadn't seen it yet.

I did trust Harry, but he had also proved to me that words were just words. I didn't judge him for backtracking, for having doubts, for being confused. I couldn't believe how hard of a decision this had to be for him and how badly his life was falling apart, but he had come back on his decision one too many times for me to just believe his word for it.

The thing was that I was too far gone to ever protect myself from the inevitable heartbreak. Him and I were a recipe for disaster, but I couldn't see it. Or maybe I chose not to.

He must've heard my footsteps, his head lifting when he heard me approaching. He closed his phone and tucked it in his pockets, pushing himself off of the familiar black car to face me.

"Sunny." He crooned, not really opening his arms but somehow he had such an inviting stance. His voice was gentle and sympathetic and I could just about feel myself melting as I ran into him and our bodies clashed together. The breath got knocked out of my lungs when my eyes fluttered close and I buried myself in his chest.

Harry caged me into his warm, big arms and held me to his body, pecking my scalp over my blonde hair, "'M here, baby." He spoke. I couldn't respond, just sighed out while letting him comfort me.

Lots of emotions were happening. From seeing Blair today and having her open up to thinking of my parents and how I had to miss out on my weekend with Harry to go to church again. It might be the only time we have a shot at this.

Harry and I untangled ourselves and he softly smiled at me, "You feeling okay?"

"Y-Yeah. I do now." I nodded shakily, darting my eyes over his features as I curled my lips inside of my mouth, "Thank you for being here."

"Of course." He murmured, shooting me another reassuring smile before he hesitantly glanced around the street, "Uh, should we go inside?"

"Right. Yeah." I nodded in agreement, opening up my front door, shakily jamming the old key in the lock with trembling hands. Harry stood behind me, a soothing hand on the small of my back just as if to let me know that he was there and that he was with me.

We took a slow walk up the five stories, not really saying much to one another but taking in the noises of the building. With each floor we passed, we could hear different things from different apartments. We ran into an old man picking up his newspaper from the mailbox downstairs, we heard a crying baby, a barking dog, a couple fighting, a couple fucking.

By the time we reached the fifth floor, I was slightly out of breath and glancing over my shoulder to see Harry also panting a little from the effort. He shot me a reassuring smile and I returned it gently. He truly did look at me like I could break at any moment, like he was walking on eggshells around me.