earned it [h.s.]

53.

TW: mentions of sexual assault.

Harry.

"You've been served."

I blinked mindlessly as the man shoved the brown envelope in my hand, shot me another fake smile and then turned around, heading back into his car.

I stared dumbfoundedly at him, the weight of the envelope in my hand overwhelming and before I realized it, it dropped to the sidewalk I was standing on.

My eyes flicked down as I picked it up and frowned, "Hey!" I called after him, but he didn't turn around or shoot me another look, just got into his car and drove off as I watched in pure confusion.

You've been served.

The blood drained from my face as I swallowed thickly and turned my eyes towards the house. The gate not working, the lights inside being on. I narrowed my eyes, realizing the large standing lamp in the living room had been turned on.

It was a tricky one, an old gift from Blair's father that sat in the house. Elliana never turned it on because it didn't work half the time and she was scared of breaking it. Blair yelled at her once over it and since then she didn't touch it.

Blair was home. On a Monday afternoon. My throat dried out when I slowly looked back at the envelope in my hands, my lips pressed together as I quickly ripped it open and pulled out the first page.

In the high court of justice, principal registry of the family division.

District judge McLaren sitting at the principal registry of the family division, First Avenue House, High Holborn, London – County of Greater London.

My breath shortened, vision blurring as I continued.

Between the petitioner: Blair Louise Hilton

And the respondent: Harry Edward Styles

Shit.

My hands trembled as I stared at what I could only assume were divorce papers.

A bypassing car made me jump up at the sudden noise and I breathed harshly, trying to get a grip on myself.

My legs felt weak as I stared at the house and pushed the papers back into the envelope. For a moment, I hesitated just turning around and leaving. But maybe this was the moment I'd get closure. Maybe this was the last time I got to talk to her alone. Maybe this was my only attempt at settling this in a civil way.

It wasn't how I wanted this to go.

I wanted to be the one to take this step, to let Blair know that I'd had enough and that I couldn't do it anymore. I assumed it wouldn't come as a complete surprise to her, and then later I could gently let her know that I was seeing Genevieve. That we were dating, in love, and that it had been going on while we were still married.

But Genevieve wasn't the root of our marital issues, and she wasn't the root of why I wanted a divorce. I had been wanting one for years, but just kept holding onto Blair and the comfort of my usual life until I realized I didn't even like the comfort.

I liked Genevieve. I loved Genevieve. And I wanted her. It was all that was pulling me through this. I was a coward, I always had been. New things scared me and I rather stayed in my little bubble of familiarity than take a leap and end up somewhere unknown. And I toyed with her over it, I hurt her, I made her false promises.

I couldn't make up my mind for a very long time, but now I had. And I wanted her after this, I wanted her and not Blair. I wanted happiness and I told myself I deserved that, too. I deserved to feel loved and appreciated and I deserved someone who showed interest in my life and made me feel validated.