earned it [h.s.]

62. (*)

Harry.

Genevieve and I were in bed together, a fair distance between us.

It was silent, but I knew she was awake. I had been staring up at her dark ceiling for a few hours, my body tired but my brain couldn't seem to stop thinking.

Thinking of today and how hurt I was. The video footage. The pregnancy. The verdict.

I was free, technically. Free of Blair, free to be with Genevieve. I was going to get a fortune of money, we'd be safe. Safe enough to get our own place, to take a few trips and to decently start out relationship without Blair. Except that it wasn't without Blair.

She had my baby in her.

I was thinking of that, too.

Furthermore, I was thinking of the conversation I had with Genevieve. Or well, lack of a conversation.

If this is the long haul, how'd we get here so soon.

I swallowed again, feeling fresh tears come to my eyes. I didn't think I had any left. I had never felt so far away from her even if she was in bed with me. We were finally free to be close, yet Blair kept pulling us apart even if the divorce was about to be finalized.

Genevieve wasn't ready for a baby and this entire thing scared her. I couldn't blame her, both of us were dealing with an array of emotions that both of us had no idea how to handle. We went to bed exhausted, crying ourselves into fatigue.

But she was awake, I could sense it. Her breaths were uneven. She had her back to me and I knew she was crying. Her ribs stuttered in short puffs as she tried to hide it from me. I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't know what to say. And I knew she felt the same way.

"Genevieve?" I whispered, my voice cracking already.

She held her breath for a second and I swallowed, "Are you awake?"

"Yes." She murmured back, her voice watery.

I blinked away a tear, my fingers gripping the sheets, "Can... can I hold you?"

The sheets rustled as Genevieve rolled over, sniffing once, "Harry... of course." She whispered back.

I sighed and scooted into her side of the bed immediately, my arms reaching out to find her warm body and pull her into me. My eyes closed tightly as I let out a curse, pressing myself flush into Genevieve. Her breaths stuttered against my shoulder.

She sniffed a few times, tightly holding her arm around my bare torso. I brushed her hair away from her face, "Sunny..." I whispered, "have you been crying this whole time?"

"Yes." She croaked out, "I-I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, it's okay." I crooned and she sobbed into my neck, "I'm so scared."

Her broken whisper made my bottom lip wobble, hiding it by pressing my lips to her forehead repeatedly, trying to keep my breathing under control. It had been night, after night, after night of the both of us crying ourselves to sleep, keeping each other together.

It had been like that throughout our entire relationship. Me holding her broken pieces together, or her holding mine. Today broke us both.

Genevieve's dignity was tainted with that footage from the office. No matter how much they blurred her private parts, she was hurt. By Diane, most of all. By a broken promise. I knew she was overthinking it all, the way my mother would maybe change her opinion on her, the way my friends had seen those intimate moments, the way Blair didn't even flinch.

And then of course, the pregnancy. Genevieve didn't want children, or at least not right now. And that was just the cherry on top, wasn't it? It was like my biggest dream was coming true, with the wrong woman. The one I didn't love anymore. It had been the three of us in this relationship for so long that we were aching, gasping for the moment it'd be just us.