Fools

Part 30

That same night; cate's p.o.v

Caspar & Ollie had taken Joe to a hotel room for the night and left Lilah and I at the house. We went into my room for the night, we were watching movies as Lilah was playing my hair and took the role as the big spoon. I turned and looked up at her.

"We shouldn't have came Ly." She looked at me confused.
"Why not?"
"This is all just so fucked up." I sighed. "I tried to tell Joe how I felt, what I needed and it sent him spiraling, I've never seen him act that way before." I told her.
"Cate whatever he did tonight was not on you. He's an adult and his actions were his own actions, you didn't make him do or say anything."
"But I played a part didn't I?" She sighed.
"You could have, but Caspar did say he was already going through a rough time. He just couldn't hold it in any longer once he talked to you for the first time in a while and I'm assuming he was thinking you two would get back together at the next possible chance. Soon he'll understand what you were saying." I turned back over. "Hey just try to get some sleep okay? It's been a long day and we already have a long weekend ahead." She turned my face back to her and kissed me softly, it comforted me so much. She let go of my face so I could face the other way, I couldn't keep my tears in anymore and began to cry. She wrapped her arms around me tighter and nestled her head into my back. "Shh, it's okay Cate. You can let it out, it's okay." She kept whispering, I felt like I couldn't stop crying. The cry felt so needed, I cried my fucking eyes out as she held me.

The next morning;

Caspar shook me awake, I opened my eyes and saw Lilah was still sleeping. We snuck out of the room quietly and walked out to the terrace. I lit up a splif, he scoffed then laughed.
"What dude?" I laughed. "I had a long ass night." I hit it a couple times and passed it to him. "What's going on?"
"I just wanted to talk you. How are you after yesterday?" He asked, I rolled my eyes.
"I can't even really answer that."
"What all happened?" He passed the joint back, I hit it again before I spoke.
"It feels like it all happened so fast." He wrapped an arm around me. "The first talk we had I basically told him that I think we should remain friends, that I couldn't trust him or myself after what happened. I said we rushed things and that I wondered if it could have even been real, our relationship." He sighed. "I told him I accepted his apology but I couldn't be with him. I was okay with the fact that he cheated and I wasn't angry at him, he knew this and he tried to say he could fix it but I said no."
"Geez." I passed him the joint, he hit it before he spoke also. "So what happened after he came in and exploded?"
"When I went into his room he was just sitting on the floor, staring at the wall. I asked if he was okay and he asked why I would even care, I told him no matter what I'd always care for him then he asked if he turned me gay. I told him nothing was going on with Lilah and I, after that he just kept repeating that he loved me so much, that he fucked it up and I would never want him again. The next thing I knew he was throwing beer bottles at the walls and the glass fell everywhere, I was so scared either one of us was going to get hurt in the moment until you and Lilah came in." He sighed again and passed the joint.
"I told you Cate. Falling for Joe was bad news, after he had been hurt with Ana, I knew his next relationship couldn't be any better and I really didn't want it to be you on the other end. I know that's no excuse for his actions, and I can't justify why he cheated nor do I even know the real reason why he did. But Joe's not in the best state of mind right now." He told me, I nodded and hit the joint pretty hard then exhaled sharply.
"But that's the thing Casp, I don't know if I really fell."
"Cate, if there's anyone that's going to know that answer because of how much they know you, it'd be me. You did fall for him and there's no denying that."
"So what am I supposed to do? Just get back together with him to help him feel better? What about me?!"
"I'm not saying that Cate, whether or not you guys get back together is on your own terms. But just don't tell the dude you didn't love him when you know deep down you did. That can really fuck a person up in the sense, you should know how that feels." I frowned. "So what's the real truth on you and Lilah? I mean he was right, everyone can see that you two have some sort of chemistry."
"And that's where I have to stop you with the whole Joe feelings thing, it's totally different with Lilah. Being with her made me realize that what I felt with Joe maybe wasn't real. Caspar me and him were so rushed, you know this." He nodded. "What happened with Lilah came so naturally, it wasn't forced, we took our time and she gets me. I wouldn't say we're dating but we talked about everything, laid it out on the table and we're fine where we are. Taking it slow is the key to me really finding out what I want, I'm comfortable with how things are playing out." I told him, he nodded again.
"I can see how much you guys feel for each other, the sexual and sensual tension is soaking the air." I laughed, why does everyone keep saying that? "But no seriously, I'm just glad you're happy and at the end of this I will support whatever decision you make. I told Joe I'm not picking sides, so I'm not saying you should be with Joe or Lilah. But just think about your actions before there's another problem created, Lilah wouldn't deserve to be on the end Joe's on either if you decided to get back with him. And you know Joe isn't going to accept what happened at first, but he'll come around when he's in the right mental state as a friend and everything will fall into place." I smiled and pulled Caspar in for a hug.
"I love you so much Caspar, thank you. For everything." We pulled away and he looked like he was about to cry, he nodded and smiled.
"I love you too Cate, don't think I'll ever not be around to back up my sister, you would do the same for me." I smiled back at him.
"So how is he?" I asked, I hit the joint a couple more times before putting it out.
"He's sobering up, Ollie's with him at a hotel. He should be coming back later today. He's said that he'll be in his room the rest of the night to avoid any confrontations."
"I think that's best. I'm probably going to leave him alone for the rest of the visit, at least until we have to go back, then I might pull him for another chat just to see how he's doing."
"Yeah, that'd be nice of you." I smiled. "Come on, let's go back inside."

I went back into the room and I saw Lilah was awake, she was still laying down, she was on her phone. I jumped on the bed to the side next to her.
"Hi sweet." I smiled, she turned to face me and gave me a kissy face.
"Hi love. What are our plans for today?" She asked and set her phone to the side. She pulled me up a little closer to her and wrapped her arms around me.
"Well we don't have to go see Zoe until tomorrow, she's busy planning some things for the wedding with Alfie. So I was thinking, want to go grab some breakfast and then do some shopping? It's been so long since I've bought some new clothes."
"Honestly I feel that, but do we have to?" She sighed jokingly. "Let's just chill here for the day, watch some more movies." I laughed.
"I would love to, but Joe's coming back today and I don't really want to be here when he does if that's alright with you." I told her.
"Oh yeah, okay sure. It's a date then." She kissed me before getting up off the bed. "Well let's great ready and we can leave in a few." We both smiled before she took her bag and left the room.
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