Fools

Part 28

3 weeks later, cate's p.o.v;

I'm on my way to my third class of the day, it's wednesday and thank god this week is almost over. I still haven't reached out to Joe and frankly I don't plan to. Things are looking up for Lilah and I, we've still been spending every second of the day together but I can't help but feel confused, we haven't acted on what happened the night of the party, I haven't kissed her since then, I've just been glad to still be able to hold her hand. I'm not sure how she's been feeling, it hasn't felt off or anything but you would think we should have talked about it by now.

I walked into class and sat down at my seat, I felt my phone buzz a couple times.

From; zo <3
'hey girly! so sorry we haven't chatted in a while, i've been so busy, how are you? i'm not sure if anyone has told you yet so let me be the first, alfie and i are getting married!!:') i can't believe it. i want you to be my maid of honor, that would really make me happy. talk soon? i'd love to chat details. xoxo'

From; lilac<33 (lilah's nickname)
'hey love, want to meet for lunch? we should have a talk. nothing bad, don't fret. have a good class(:'

From; syd<3
'girl you are not going to believe what just happened, text me!!'

response to zoe;
'omg um yes! count me so in, congrats to you both, i'm so excited for this:') i love you guys.'
response to lilah;
'well of course, i'd love to join you for lunch, meet on the hill? i think it's time we talked to <3. you too.'
response to sydney;
'bitch what happeneddd, spill all the details & don't spare any!'

I felt my phone buzz again but I didn't answer anyone this time, I shut my phone off as my professor walked in. Let's get this class over with.

"Okay listen up everyone, I have a special assignment I want you guys to do. We are going to take the next month to perfect this assignment, I want you to pick someone, someone who isn't a student here, study them and create a dance on it." This is my performing arts class and I've been waiting all year for a project like this. "Get inside their head, figure out the real person inside, their reasoning for why they do what they do, the ways of thinking, what makes them tick, but you cannot let them know anything about the project. In fact, keep this strictly between this class alone. Alright, everyone got that?" I have a few ideas of who to do my project on, I was thinking of Zoe with her wedding coming up and everything, but maybe I can do this project on Joe and really find out his reasoning behind what he did to me without having to talk to him, or him tell me his reasoning. Study him to get the raw, unedited truth.

As soon as I knew it, class had ended and I was making my way out to the quad, I turned my phone back on to check the messages I left.

~zo <3
'we love you too! could you come visit this weekend? we have so so much to talk about. caspar had mentioned something to me about your bestfriend lilah? beautiful name btw, please bring her if you get the chance! i need me some girl time(:'
~lilac<33
'sounds good! i'll be waiting for you <3'
~syd<3
'girl i met the most beautiful, charming guy i have ever fell upon in this lifetime this morning at the cafe. i got his number and we have a date tonight! i promise he's a good guy, i could tell right off the bat he wasn't another douche like rob. talk later in the dorm, love you.'

I smiled so hard at Sydney's text, anything is better than Rob & I really hope this works out for her ugh, that'd be so lovely. Perhaps we could do double dates with her, Lilah and I. So frickin cute. I locked my phone and finally reached the hill, I looked up and saw Lilah sitting on a picnic blanket with her lunch, I smiled to myself.

"Hey you." I said, she grinned from ear to ear at me.
"Hi love, come sit. I packed you some lunch there in the other lunch bag."
"Aw you shouldn't have." I winked and went to sit next to her. "How has your day been?" I asked.
"Pretty good, other than the fact that I got assigned a pre-exam in environmental science for a week from now." She rolled her eyes. "You?"
"Sounds rough, I can help you study for it. But um, so far so good, I got assigned a project to for my performing arts class." She unwrapped her sandwich and took a bite.
"Oo, what's the project?" She took another bite, I opened the fruit she brought and started eating some.
"I have to study someone that doesn't go here, and try to get inside their head without them knowing, know the real them and create a dance out of it." I told her.
"Oh wow, that sounds so interesting. Have you thought about who you'll do it on?"
"I've given it a little bit of thought yeah, but I haven't settled on a subject yet." We both laughed. "So anyways, let's talk." I started.
"Yes. So um, I just wanted to see where your heads at. I've been kind of distant with you know, the affection part cause I don't want to make you feel like you have to like me back or be with me just cause you aren't with Joe. I know you would have appreciated some sort of space with that."
"Right. Yeah. Um. I don't really know where my heads at with him, I definitely don't want to get back together anytime soon that's for sure. I do appreciate the space you gave me but honestly I was so hurt that we haven't been some sort of affectionate. I do have feelings for you Ly." She looked at me and smiled so hard her dimples were showing.
"I have feelings for you too Cate, you know this. And I'm cool with if you're you know, not ready for a relationship. I just want things to be cool between us, I'd rather not lose our friendship over things being weird with us, but I just wanted to know where we stood." I nodded in agreement and smiled. "I just have one thing to ask." I nodded again. "Do you think you'd ever get back with Joe? I know you guys have history, and just to really save me the hurt if things with us become semi-serious." My smile faded away, I paused in my spot. I really had to think about what to say next.
"These last couple of weeks we haven't talked. I really haven't thought about him as much as I thought I would. We don't have as much history as you think Ly." I told her, she looked confused then shrugged.
"So what's the story?" She asked, I paused again at the fact that I've told Lilah the good parts, the things Joe did for me rather than the actual story of where it started, what happened, before these weeks came crumbling.
"Well, remember the holiday we just had before term?" She nodded. "I spent it at my brother's that time rather than going back to my parents, I met Joe through him as he's a life-long friend along with Ollie, they all live together. They do Youtube together and what not, anyways- it all happened so quick Joe and I. He was so flirty since the day I walked in, it went back and forth with me wondering if I actually liked him back and telling him that. He tried so hard to get on my good side and eventually he did, I fell for it. We were together for a bit into the beginning of term until that whole thing with Scott happened. I went back home to Caspar's, Joe and I got into this huge fight about what had happened so I went to stay at his sister & her fiancee's house, they've always been so good to me since the start anyways- I stayed there for a few days, I waited about 3ish weeks in total until I came back to Uni from what happened. The last week before I came, Joe took me to Bora Bora as a vacation, everyone met up there with us and for me, I've never been out of the UK, so it was different." She rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, I could never match up to Bora Bora." She shook her head.
"Shush, you don't have to love, anyways- I came back to Uni and everything was good, he was texting me everyday, checking in and then eventually it kind of started fading around the time me and you had met. And then yeah, you know the rest, I found out he cheated and yeah." She finally took another bite of her food, I laughed. "That's the story."
"I mean it sort've sounds like there was history, I mean that's a lot for a couple of months."
"I agree, but like I said it happened all so quick. I started to like him almost a year after I had the worst breakup ever, I couldn't even tell you if it was real at first cause I tried to forget that feeling for good, I was done with relationships." She nodded.
"So is that what happened with us you know? Like I was there for you, so it was easy to fall after you had issues with Joe?" That made my stomach hurt, that makes me sad that she would really think that.
"No of course not. Ly, I knew the moment I met you that day that we had some sort of connection, I felt it. Being your friend was greatness all in it's own but to feel for you was a bonus. I definitely have a stronger mentality then I did back when I started seeing Joe."
"What was your last relationship like? It was with Scott right? I never thought to ask cause I just figured, and I know it's a really touchy subject for you."
"It is, but we're already on the topic. Yes, it was Scott, we dated pretty much all of my freshman year, but he literally did not give a shit, he had cheated also and basically long story short, he pretended to love me. He'll deny any of it just like he did with the rape, I partly feel he did it because for the last half of our relationship, I wouldn't sleep with him because he constantly cheated. Joe was my first body since Scott and I broke up. I spent sophomore year depressed for months and months until I finally got over it. The first time I had seen him since we had broken up was the night of what happened."
"Jesus Cate. Why did I have to meet you junior year and not sooner? I could have definitely saved you from that one." We both laughed.
"Oh god, that would have been so appreciated. I literally wasted so much bloody time on that loser."
"Do you think that's why you're so okay with what Joe did because it's happened to you before?" I flared my eyes and laughed.
"Do I? Oh totally haha. Been there, done that. It's all so childish to me. You just truly don't love the person enough to cheat on them because if you did, it wouldn't even be a thought."
"Yes, I totally agree. I've had a cheater in my past too, it's truly cruel."
"What happened Ly?"
"So I've only ever had 2 real relationships, one in secondary school and then one here in uni. My first relationship I had dated a girl, she was so good to me. We met our 2nd to last year of school and we're together for the last year, I knew I liked girls for sure with how much I loved her. We thought at first hey why not give it a try? And then we didn't know that we would actually care that much."
"Aww, so frickin cute." I made a pouty face at her and smiled then she rolled her eyes.
"At the end of the last year of school, we found out we got accepted to different universities. She actually really wanted to attend the one she got accepted into, so we just decided to break things off and we just stopped talking after freshman year."
"What was her name?"
"Kiera."
"Aw, pretty."
"Yeah haha, so yeah then my last relationship was sophomore year, this one was a guy, he was the cheater. We weren't that serious but I kind of took it that way and I ended up finding him at a party making out with some girl. We took a break and then got back together, didn't know the whole time he was still seeing that girl even on the break. I caught them actually in the act when I went to his dorm one day, from then on I was so over it. I broke it off the last time and rumor has it he's with her now."
"Wow, seriously men are so trash dude. You see how you had that one good relationship with Kiera then once you dated a guy, he was cheating. And it just so happens, I dated two men who both ended up as cheaters." She laughed.
"Tell me about it haha. I told myself my next relationship would be a girl, I cannot date men anymore, I've gained some hurtful trust issues." She told me, I felt that in my chest lol. My trust issues have skyrocketed throughout these couple years. "So you've thought about being with a girl right? You sure were open to the fact of us being something." She laughed again.
"Of course, I've never been in a relationship with one but I've had little girl crushes in the past and I've kissed a few in my lifetime. Funny story, Sydney and I were actually really drunk one night and hooked up. Crazy I know." She did indeed look at me crazy, I laughed. "We became like drunk fuck buddies, it didn't last obviously because we know we're so good as friends. I met her right before we started Uni and we've been close since. It was kind of rocky with the whole Scott thing but we worked it out."
"Okay well I'm partly glad you have experience with women but also sad that I wasn't the first female you've kissed." She joked, I winked.
"But you could always be the last." We both leaned in for the kiss, her lips were warm once again. I almost forgot what it felt like to kiss her, we pulled away and both had smiles on our faces. "I've been waiting for that."
"Don't worry, me too." She started blushing, she's so frickin cute ugh. "Women just know what other women want, it's a fact."
"God Ly, I could talk to you for hours." She smiled. I moved the stuff out of the way so we could lay down on the blanket. We both put our hands behind our heads and she started pointing out different cloud shapes. Are we actually cloud watching right now? This is so cute. "There was something I wanted to ask."
"Hm?" She replied.
"Zoe, one of my bestfriends, also Joe's sister, she's getting married soon."
"Ah yeah, I remember you saying her fiancee."
"Yeah, his name is Alfie. She's invited us to visit this weekend to talk details and have some girly chat, she asked me to be her maid of honor."
"Aw, that's so sweet of her, I'd feel so honored."
"I do hehe, so yeah, and we have this Monday off from classes, would you like to come?" I asked, she turned and smiled at me.
"Of course, I'd love to come with. Getting to meet the family already C? I'm in."
"Haha, now I feel extremely honored."
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