Fools

Part 34

zoe's house, cate's p.o.v;

We just pulled into Zoe's driveway, I sighed and looked at Lilah then turned away. It's so selfish for me to think about my problems right now when Zoe needs me to be here for her but I just can't help it. I thought this was going to be such a good weekend, a getaway from uni to feel at home again but all I've been thinking about is going back home. I never realized it before because I was so caught up in missing where I was at the moment in time and never focused on how much uni has actually helped with my mental health, you know aside from what happened in the beginning of the year. 

We got out of the car and walked up to her front door when Zoe ran out to us, she had the biggest smile on her face. I mean grinning from ear to ear.
"Oh my GOODNESS!! Hiii" She pulled me into the tightest hug. Oh Cate I've missed you so so much, how are you?!"
"I'm good Zo, I missed you too! How are you?"
"Is that even a question girl? I'm getting bloody married!" We all laughed. "So this must be Lilah, hi there, I'm Zoe, Joe's sister and Alfie's soon to be wife! Ah I just love saying that, but I've heard so so much about you, how are you doing?" She went in to hug Lilah, I smiled.
"I'm good! Yes, it's so nice to meet you after all this time, Cate talks about you all the time."
"Good things I hope?" Zoe giggled, they pulled away and I gave Zo a nod of reassurance, she smiled. "Okay okay, so first before we get into details of all this wedding jazz, do you think I could talk to you Cate?" I looked over at Lilah then nodded to let her know I'd be okay. She went inside leaving Zoe and I alone by the car. "So, how are things really Cate?"
"Zo, this weekend is about me, it's about you and your special day, I'd rather not talk about my issues you know?"
"And I respect that okay? But I'm your friend, you're my friend and friends check up on each other. The last thing I want is to make this a joyous time while you're upset. Now talk. Please?"

I really wanted to just tell Zoe everything and cry to her at the same time but like I said, I feel so selfish to do that because it's her time. Even though she was letting me know it's alright, it just didn't sit right with me. I could tell she was eager to listen though, I'm sure she's already talked to Joe or Caspar and got the jist.

"Okay..I mean I thought things were going good up until the point when we got here." I paused, sighed then continued. "Things were so terrible once we arrived at home, Caspar made dinner but before we sat down and ate, I just didn't want things to be awkward with Joe and I considering we never hashed out the situation and actually had a conversation about it. Plus I brought Lilah this time, I just didn't want tension." She nodded. "But long story short, I just told him that I wasn't mad or upset with him or the situation anymore, that I accept his apology but I want to remain friends. I personally and please don't take offense to this Zo," She shook her head giving me the okay she wouldn't. "But I just think Joe and I rushed things, I mean we had just met and that next day we kissed, then the next thing I knew he was taking me on dates then I became his girlfriend." She nodded and grabbed my hand.
"It's okay, I actually don't take offense Cate. Regardless of him being my brother, like I said you're my friend and it takes two to make a relationship and I'll be honest too, I agree with you. And it's not like you're saying there was no feelings, there definitely was but it ended up confused towards the end like whoa, was I actually up to speed with how I felt. So I understand and the thing with Joe is I totally feel and not saying he didn't have feelings for you, you know he did and still does but he was hurt over his last relationship that I feel like he didn't take time for his own-self and jumped into something to cover that up." I agreed with everything Zoe said, she just gets me in ways no one ever has, like she took the words right out of mouth but said them in the best way. "Anyways, so go on."
"Okay. So after I explained everything and how I felt, he was begging for me back and to give him another chance to prove himself, which I believe he could've but I just couldn't so I told him no. And oh my gosh, the look on his face when I said that, I couldn't handle it so I walked away." She frowned, I did the same back. "Once we all were eating, cause Joe stormed out after we sat down at the table, he didn't come back until we were basically done. He came back in, he was madly drunk. He just went off on everyone in the room, he tried to say Caspar made the dinner plans to rub it in his face that I was with Lilah, and he called Lilah a bitch in front of everyone and told me to go fuck myself basically." She shook her head and sighed so heavily. "Caspar yelled right back at him and told him to get out of the room, Joe didn't say anything after that then he went to his room. I felt like I should go talk to him because all of it was entirely my fault, so I did. I went into his room and Zo, there was beer bottles, liquor bottles, everywhere. On his floor, his bed-side table, his dresser, it was bad and it's gotten so out of hand. I really think he's forming an addiction to it and I'm scared for him." She squeezed my hand so hard, fighting tears in her eyes. "When we talked in his room, he said that I didn't care about him, that he turned me gay and wouldn't forgive him over one mistake. I tried to calm him down with reassurance and he just got more angry. He threw about 3 of the beer bottles at the walls, the glass went everywhere, I was so scared. Luckily Caspar and Lilah walked in before he could throw another but my goodness, I have never seen him that angry, that upset and that drunk all in one." She pulled me into a hug and I could hear her start to sob, it made me cry with her. We pulled away after a couple minutes, it felt so good to let out these feelings instead of tucking them away like I have been. As much as this weekend was terrible, it was so therapeutic in a good yet weird way. Once this day is over with Zoe, I think that I'm gonna grab my stuff, tell Lilah to gather hers and then get the hell out of here. I never thought I'd want to be at University so much in my life before this weekend.
"Listen, okay? I love you Cate. You are apart of this family, my family and your presence alone means the world to me. I support whatever decision you make, there's no judgement on your feelings and I just want you to know that." She wiped some tears from her face. "Now Joe is another story, I'm going to reach out to him and try to get him some help, maybe Caspar and Ollie can join along with me because a lot of time with addiction, many people don't want to accept help or want to even try it so I'm really worried."
"Me too Zo. I'm going to do what I can on my end with him too because I don't want to see him like that and I know I'm partially responsible." She nodded her head and grabbed my hand again. I smiled and then we walked inside to meet Lilah.

"So Zoe! How did the proposal happen? When's the date? Give us everything." Lilah said excitedly, I smiled. Lilah and I were next to each other sitting across from Zoe outside on her patio benches.
"Ah okay, I'm so excited girls!! We were on a date, his sister Poppy had taken me earlier that morning to get my nails done and you already know what that means." She smirked. "The date was simple, we went to a park and had a nice picnic, beautiful beautiful day outside. We sat for a while, eating, talking, we even cloud watched for a little bit which I've never actually done before, it was so cute. Eventually we got up and we took a walk down by the pond nearby, there was a lot of little duckies everywhere so we were feeding them, but one time I actually turned around and he wasn't there. I was calling his name and what not, he appeared out of some trees, he was sprinkling rose petals literally all around the grass area we were at. I was so confused like what's happening? I got so nervous, my stomach was in complete knots. He came over with a full rose and handed it to me, I was smiling so hard." She started tearing up a little, Lilah and I were both filled with a smile. "He got down on one knee, gave this super sweet speech on our history, his feelings for me, followed by you know, the question."
"Was it an immediate yes?" I asked with a little giggle.
"Oh of course! No thought was taken into that because I knew already. I can't wait to embark on this new journey with him, it's all so so exciting." I nodded. "Um, so we haven't decided on a set date, it's not even April yet and yes the weather's starting to be okay but I've just always wanted a warm, summer wedding and Alfie agreed! So we're thinking June or August. August only because it's like the transition of summer to fall but not quite, so it's still a bit warm and sunny but the leaves start falling and colors are changing, it's beautiful. So I'll get back to you guys with more of the details on that one later. But Catee," She smiled largely. "You know I love you and I cherish our friendship, I would absolutely love it if you would be my maid of honor!!" I walked over to give her a hug.
"Yes I'd be honored too!!"
"Yay! Ah I know you already said yes but being in person makes it official and adds to the memory."
"I totally agree." She smiled.
"And Lilah, I would love if you would be a bridesmaid? It's okay if you're not comfortable because we haven't known each other long but it would make me really happy."
"Of course Zoe! It's your big day, how could I possibly say no?" I looked over at Lilah and smiled.
"Awesome! Oh my goodness guys, I'm super excited, I can't say that enough. So the next thing really is the rest of my bridal party, and I leave the bachelorette party up to you Cate," I smirked. "Then just the date and place! And of course finding the perfect dress, that'll come up in the next month or so, I'll just give you guys a call ahead of time before that weekend so you guys will be able to accompany me." Zoe said with a smile.
"What are you thinking for colors Zo?" I asked.
"Well I'm really leaning towards baby blue or burgundy. So like obviously I would be wearing a white dress if we did baby blue, then the bridesmaids will have flowed baby blue dresses with a white & blue bouquet and the groomsmen will have light blue suits and their buttons and bow-ties will be white. Alfie would wear an all white suit, my bouquet would be all white. But that's if we did baby blue." I nodded. "But if we did burgundy, I would have a light pink dress, still with a white bouquet, the bridesmaids still the same dress but burgundy and we'd probably do purple roses and white with their bouquets. Then the groomsmen would have black suits with the burgundy bow-tie and buttons, so either Alfie would wear white again or he'd have an all black suit as well."
"So much thought has gone into this! I'm here for it." Lilah said with a smile. "Don't worry, Cate and I will do our best to make all of your wants happen, your day is going to be the most special." We all smiled. Zoe got up and pulled Lilah and I in for a group hug.
"I just know it will be. You guys are the best."

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